The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading talks about the difficulties many of us face in believing there is a higher power who cares about us and what happens in this world. This struggle is often more difficult for agnostics - doubt comes easy and belief is difficult.
Our arrival at Al-Anon often happens when we are at our lowest point, and things appear really dark. We reflect on times when words and certain songs have given us the courage to go on with life - maybe when we thought it easier to give up. We remember that the honestly of program members encourages us to move forward as they share their ESH week after week, year after year. Deep down, we all truly desire what is good for ourselves, and that pushes us also to seek peace, happiness, direction and wholeness in our lives. We even begin to doubt our own doubts.
Today's Reminder - "When I feel far away from a Higher Power, I have to listen very carefully. I listen at meetings, I listen to music, I listen to the wisdom that comes through our literature, and I try to be open to what I hear. I never know from where a message will come."
Today's Quote - from Sidney Lovett - "Every now and again take a good look at something not made with hands --- a mountain, a star, the turn of a stream. There will come to you wisdom and patience and solace and, above all, the assurance that you are not alone in the world."
I was raised with organized religion, but arrived in Al-Anon broken, afraid and full of self-will. I had been exposed to the 12 Steps before, and worked them for another program. Yet, I still did not want to Let Go and Let God for my qualifiers, as deep down, I had this continuous push to fix, control, change all that was wrong around me.
I was lead to Al-Anon by a power great than me, through the voice of my sponsor. All she asked of me was to show up and keep an open mind. My brain and thinking was so distorted, it was difficult to sit still and listen, but I tried. She continued to remind me that it was about progress, and not perfection - and this applied to my faith, my trust, my outlook, attitude and practicing what I was learning.
I struggled with trusting that all would be as it should be, and that I would be OK. However, the hope and genuine joy and peace of those who came before me was impossible to ignore, and I truly wanted what they had. It became my goal to know me, love me and trust a HP who loved me more than I could know/feel.
Today, I am so grateful for my spiritual growth. So long as I do what is suggested and practice this program using my tools, I continue going forward - some days further than others. Living one day at a time, and trusting this program has given me an inner peace that I cherish.
Thank you MIP family for being a part of my journey! (((Hugs))) to one and all and Happy Thursday!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you IAH for your powerful and honest share. I appreciate your opening the discussion regarding today's reading in the C2C and touching so well on the subject- trusting HP.
I can readily identify with the feelings that you expressed I know when I first entered program, I too had distrust for that power greater than myself and was not talking to him. In my irrational thought processing, I felt I had worked hard and deserved to live a life problem free, with every problem solved by God, without any effort from me.
Thank heavens for this program as I used the principles and tools of Al-Anon as my first HP because I could see how powerful they were in restoring me to sanity. Since that time I have had many, mini spiritual experiences with the belief in a power greater than myself re established. This power is perfect love, compassion, wisdom, knowledge, courage and peace. I can readily let go and turn my life over to this protection and perfection.
My first true spiritual experience, that I was aware of(I must note that I've been unconscious often, and for a long time) happened one day as I was walking along and started" to feel" the beauty of the earth, the flowers, birds, squirrels. For years I intellectually, admired that beauty but could never{" feel it deep within". Shortly after that I worked my fifth step with my sponsor , and when I left the restaurant where we met , a homeless person handed me a piece of paper on which was written a quote from the Bible with a picture of God. It stated; "I forgive you go in peace" I have treasured both these occurrences as evidence of my spiritual experiences.
There has been many more,however, these being my first they are most memorable.
Thank you for your service. I continually thank Al-Anon for God and God for Al-Anon. Have a great day
I am thankful for you, IAH, and for you, Betty, for all that you share on a daily basis. Both of you are such a wonderful example of working the program, and your are great servants.
This past year, I stepped away from my HP. I was angry, sad, and bitter. I lost my Dad to cancer, and suffered a very serious illness that almost took my life. Our finances have been a disaster. My AH, while very caring and supportive with my loss and sickness, was sick with his A. I shut God out. I couldn't understand how he could allow so many bad circumstances to land in my lap. After all, I had been a loyal and devoted daughter. Why me?
After spending time here, and spending time in the Scripture, with some really wonderful church family members, I realize that He was with me all the time. He sent the right surgeon to save my life, and while my Dad is in heaven, I know that the situations I have gone through will help me help others in the future.
My experience is simple. I believed got angry & doubted my belief system. Not too long ago, I started to really find God in nature & other human beings. That is how I got closer. In sickness & in health, I discovered the mighty power of a power greater than myself that could definitely restore me to sanity & I have been many times. Only God could have done it & for that I am eternally grateful.
