The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
There is nothing that can bring me to my knees faster than my adult children and my young grandchildren struggling. In this case, as usually is the case, it is all a product of their own choices for the adult children. It is so hard to not rush in and save when there are grandchildren involved, and yet if we keep doing it, my adult son will never figure it out on his own and get past it. My prayer today is that this is the last time he has $5 in his pocket and half a tank of gas to last until Wednesday. He has a soon to be 5 year old son living with him who needs lunches made for daycare and new shoes on his feet. And yet, there always seems to be money for beer and cigarettes.
The guilt that washes over me for not doing anything to help makes my stomach hurt. I have tried in the past directing him to the Food Bank, but it is never "convenient" for him to take advantage of that. I have researched online charitable organizations that may assist him with needs of his son, but he never takes the initiative to follow through on them. I can only do so much and I have done it all. I have to let go and let God. And keep praying.
I am glad his last girlfriend who has the second baby, left to make a better life for herself in another state. She is able to protect and provide for her son. But my heart hurts for the wreckage left here by my son's bad choices.
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Bethany
"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be." Abe Lincoln
This sounds like such a hard situation for you and for the grandbaby. Is there some way you can just feed the child? Take his lunch to daycare or pick him up for dinner? I know that might not be possible, I hope things get better.
That is such a hard one. What is the responsible thing to do for the best interests of the child? It could be that someone else would care for the child much better. If your son is an active drinker then the chances of him being able to parent is unlikely and way too risky. I wish I could help but I have no experience in this. I hope if this situation comes to me I can handle it as well as you are. Best of luck.
(((Bethany))) - I hear you on the knocking to the knees. It is very difficult to let go and let God when it's our own children. I am fortunate that the momma of my grandsons has a good head on her shoulders and the support of family. My son is doing his best and things seems to be working for them all, so I've not had to go through what you are going through.
I have at times filled a gas tank and delivered food to my sons. I will not ever give them cash or something they can pawn, sell, etc. for substances. But, buying a loaf of bread, PB & J or lunch meat or frozen meals - yes, I have. The bad news here - driving away after delivering food to the back of a convenience store is way harder than worrying and praying for them from my own hula-hoop....
If things were to go South and my grandchildren were involved, I would not hesitate to engage any resources necessary for their safety/well-being. They did not choose to be born into this disease, and I am a firm believer in working to break the cycle. I will send you tons of prayers and positive thoughts today and hope you can focus on letting HP lead you where you need to go!!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
