The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello to all! Just wanted to get some feedback if anyone has experienced what I am going through...
I have been in Al Anon for almost 3 years in July. I worked on my steps and traditions with a sponsor a year in to my recovery. I learned a lot from her and her words will always be with me but I felt It was time for a new sponsor. I attend one meeting regularly on Friday nights where I also do service, it's my home group. I have also been helping a new comer and we became friends, but not as a sponsor...don't think I'm ready to sponsor someone else...
Well, what I have been struggling with lately is feeling like I have outgrown al anon. My ideas of al anon have changed so much as I have grown in my recovery and I once felt that without al anon I would not be able to function. But now I know all al anon gives me is principles to live by and suggestions, nothing is set in stone.
Hi Sandy, welcome to Miracles in Progress, I first found Al-Anon over 30 years ago as a stay-at-home mom who was concerned with my husband's drinking. After several attempts at recovery he was finally was able to sustain sobriety and I reasoned,that I did not need Al-Anon any longer. I had the principles, I had the tools, I had a Higher Power, and I could do it alone and so I stopped going to meetings. It never dawned on me that I could continue to attend meetings, learn more about life and compassion by being a sponsor and continuing to attend face-to-face meetings .
Life happens and after six years of sobriety my husband died suddenly from cancer and my 16-year-old son picked up drugs and alcohol. I quickly let go of all my Al-Anon tools and reverted to preprogram behavior. Thank goodness I knew with the meetings were and I immediately returned. I have stayed in Al-Anon since. Life keeps changing and offering me new challenges and so I need the support of like-minded members as I live one day at a time, on this spiritual journey.
A member pointed out to me that this is a" WE" program and that is why it works. The first step clearly states "we admitted.". So I believe I'm a lifetime member of Al-Anon as it has served me well. I sponsor a few people chair a few meetings now and then and give back when I can.
Hi Sandy,
I too am in it for good. My practice of daily inventory, gratitude list, and turning my will over to my HP, etc decay if I quit attending meetings. I fall back into thinking that does not result in a good life for me.
I am grateful for the meetings, this site, literature and slogans. I need to stay in this solution for the situations each phase of life presents me.
Best to you as you work out whether to continue or otherwise.
Hey Sandy - welcome to MIP - glad you found us and glad that you joined in. I came into Al-Anon from the other side (AA). I've been involved with 12-Step recovery for 28+ years. I met and married my husband in AA, and he relapsed 23 years ago - 3 years into our marriage, and never returned to recovery. I carried on for a long while, but got crazy busy with an active A, and 2 small boys who had many activities, school events, etc. I let life get into the way of my AA recovery and did not drink but............................................................
I went through periods of dry drunk and total insanity. I came to Al-Anon when my oldest son was 'spiraling down' and it saved my sanity. I have taken one break and while I did "OK" - I don't want to just be OK any more. I want to live, learn, experience, feel and heal - every day. I have a great home group in Al-Anon but have changed home groups a couple of times in AA. I visit my home group once a week and another group once a week + any others I can get to.
Meetings for me give me pausing tools and sharpen my use of the program - acceptance, compassion, listening and patience. If I feel I need something more, I will visit a different group/meeting. I know for me I do best when I proactively work my program instead of waiting for a crisis. I've done both and the former is much smoother for me. I also believe I have more to learn as each meeting I go to, I hear something of value to consider.
So - I plan to be a lifer - that seems to be the best plan for me!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I need alanon. Its about me Not anyone
else. I still have a lifetime of lessons To
Learn so i can keep growing And changing.
I do not want to go without the support
And guidance of the program. Giving back
Is a big part too of the program.
I am so thankful I came across another great tool of recovery, just another way to reach out and get some "perspective" outside myself. All you have been in the rooms a lot longer than me, so you speak with experience.
hotrod...thanks so much for the reminder that it is a "WE" program. Sometimes I tend to forget that it can't be done without the help of others, it's my damn self-will =P
Maybe it's just a phase I am going through as a transition to finding a new sponsor to help me work the concepts of service. Thanks a lot! Love hearing all the suggestions, much appreciated (:
I'm so new to the program but i think as we begin make changes for ourselves things start to feel different or better or "ok". I haven't been to a meeting in over a month and yet still be sure to check in with myself and where I am with the step I'm on. While the face to face meeting isn't something I need right now because of where I am in my
Program personally -yet I'm still activively reading the literature and applying the tools I've learns thus far. In a few weeks I'll return to the face to face as my schedule will allow it and for me it reboot of where I've come from, where I am and where I will go next.
I don't anticipate growing out of the program but how I need it in my life each week may look different!
Welcome Sandy to the board and this family. Your share jolted me awake because like Hot Rod I have been in the program since 1979.
Your share caused me to inventory my own attitude and I ended up with How is Sandy doing with the 12th step? That step that actually was the cause of my recovery when another elder member welcomed me and the rest of them turned the light on in front of my path. I was a piece of work when I first got into program and they could have thrown up their hands and walked away and none of them did. I started to get my sanity and life back and I practice the 12th very often. Keep coming back (((hugs)))
Newbie...yeah, there have been a lot of changes in my life. It seems like that is the theme of my life since joining the program...CHANGE! I hate change. I am working on building new relationships due to the fact that 2 of my qualifiers (friends since middle school) are still in the disease. I also parted ways with my old sponsor but we still keep in touch. My life has been shifting so much that my idea of what al anon means to me isn't the same, either. I am a lot more balanced since I worked the steps and was able to heal a lot of my wounds from childhood and the part of the disease I lived with my friends. But I am in a phase in my recovery where I am starting to question where I stand. When I first came in to al anon I thought it was the answer for EVERYTHING and I couldn't understand how so many others in the disease never make it to the rooms. I just realized that al anon isn't the only way.
Jerry...I practice the 12th step by welcoming the newcomers to the meeting because I know how I felt when I was new. I also chaired the newcomers meeting in my home group and it really helped me to open up and share my experience, strength and hope. I also became close friends with a newcomer and I share how the program has helped me by guiding her with the principles of the program. As my sponsor always said, "we get more out of service than we give". I've gained so much growth in my recovery with service.
I almost feel ashamed for thinking that I got so much out of the program and I don't need it anymore, when I know how important the 12th step is to my recovery. Just how the old-timers were there to show me the way, it's my responsibility to do the same for all those newcomers who walk through the door. Thanks for that reminder!!
I have a lot of prayer and meditation to do, but I am so thankful for this gem I discovered (=
Ive felt this way before, When I moved 6 mths ago away from XAH, I was too far feom my Alanon home group to attend it. I went several times to a Sat nite meeting but didnt like it. For some reason, I was tired of hearing the stories,didnt want to think about alcoholics anymore. This program is for me and I use the principles every day and come to the board here to read posts, leave posts and respond. Somehow I feel more connected to the board now.
