Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Handing xah over and leaving there
Post Info TOPIC: Handing xah over and leaving there
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Handing xah over and leaving there
Permalink  

I feel all emotional again probably my two lastest 

losses just keep adding up on my other pile of stuff.

I feel like i am at a crossroad. It will be one year on

the 15 th. 

 

i need to let go and let God, and leave him there, for

my own sanity and growth. We were both harmed as

children growing up in dysfunctional families and both

had abusive mothers. 

 

I was honest about mine, he wasnt really and i did not

push him. He wasnt honest about a lot of things come 

to find out. I wasnt totally honest either about myself.

 

i hopefully have learned some life lessons and have grown

in our 30 years together. I loved being married and having

a loving partner in my life. It was something to cherish and 

embrace as long as it was good. It healed me and my soul. 

 

Then came all the bad and i did not cope well because that 

is not what i signed on for or wanted. I have Been down that

road with my family and all the pain and hurt, i detached

from all that bad stuff long ago. 

 

Here it was in my own home now i just kept burying my head

in the sand that did not help as you all know. I did not know 

which way to turn when my partner in life was now Against me. 

 

i pray to heal and get better and wake up feeling normal again

one day Soon. I am so tired of this emotional rollercoaster ride. 

 

hugs

 

mirandac

 

 



-- Edited by Mirandac on Monday 9th of May 2016 05:07:06 PM

__________________
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:
Permalink  

(((Mirandac))) - so sorry today is a sad one.....yesterday was mine and by writing here and gaining some support, today is better.

May you know that I appreciate you for you and for what your bring here to MIP. I am honored we are together for this journey and I am sending positive thoughts and huge (((hugs))) your way!

You are healing and you work a great program! Hold on to your family here and your tools and know that this too shall pass!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
Permalink  

((Mirandac)) . Please remember that we are all on a spiritual journey, and HP is walking side-by-side with us. Positive thoughts and prayers on the way

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

I realize my HP is walking beside me Helping me
on my spiritual journey. Sometimes i still feel willful
about really letting my xah Go.

I have been emotional since my two losses last
Month. I have a tendency to go inward to process
And leave it there until i feel some closure then
Add in mothers day.

I felt the hugs and prayers

Thank you for your love

Mirandac



__________________
pjwa12726


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 73
Date:
Permalink  

((Mirandac))
I relate so much to your share. Being in a long term marriage with it's ups and downs, I really thought that in the end that we would be together. After all we were children when we met. We had been thru so much and I thought with some counselling we would come through it. We both grew up in dysfunctional alcoholic families so we did not have good role models, but we loved each other or so I thought. Per my AH own words (last year) "he was never emotionally available to me." I settled for this marriage when there was little in it for me. Looking back I always felt frustrated and always felt that the AH was hiding something/secrets which he was.
Most days I am so grateful that I don't have to live with him and his mental issues anymore. Then other days I am right back to square one feeling bad for what was. As weird as it sounds I feel like I felt more secure when he was around but feelings are not facts, right? We share our family and I hate that we will never be the family that I had envisioned at this point in our lives. But over all I think Iam doing better every day but then holidays are especially bad. I have to lower my expectations and try to make my own happiness.

I hope I didn't ramble too much but I get what you are feeling..... I am so sorry for your losses...

((((hugs))))
PJ

__________________
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

Long term marriages are different, mainly you Go
thru thick and thin and believe the other partner
Is on the same page, sadly my xah wasn't.

I am starting to think the smart ones are the ones
That get out when the relationship does not work
Anymore. They are dealing and facing the reality
Of the situation.

Thanks for the hugs

(((( PJWA)))


__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Handing xah over and leaving there