Shyness ???? - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · ~*Service Worker*~

Shyness ????

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

((LU)) You are unwrapping a present--That present is your inner self, your glow, your wisdom your courage.

As for being shy. it can be a hindrance to enjoying life so I would ask HP to lift it and as the Just for Today Bookmark suggests attempt to do one thing you do not want to do each day.

I can relate years ago I too experienced the same reluctance. In order to stop the fear I would merely write the engagement on my calendar and forget about it. When the day arrived, I would check my calendar and go without worrying about the situation before time. it helped.

lookingup · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks Betty and I shall do just that,write it down, and I'm happy to say that I'm actually beginning to use more tools in my day to day living,and I'm come to realise that no wonder I've been soo down and depressed,no motivation,not taking care of me or my home.im feeling lots better ,my eyes are seeing things more clearly,and I'm acting and being more healthy,and healthy attracts healthy,I'm seeing that to now ....hugs lu

MeTwo2 · ~*Service Worker*~

they say in alanon our greatest weakness becomes our greatest strength (maybe because we need to share on it the most in meetings half laugh i don't know) .. but for me groups was the hardest (in my original group, there was much criticism (shame blame) an judging without compassion understanding an more) .. therefore, groups were hard for me .. alanon face to face meetings an the repetition of sharing is what's been helping me .. repetition of meetings replaces obsession with faith (a promise of program) .. anyway what i came to realize for me was the main group i feared was the one i carried in my head all those years .. sharing with others in meetings is safe .. still moving through .. still growing the strength but will say i am very comfortable sharing in meetings today .. progress not perfection .. that group ? is my safe haven .. a slight shift in perception coming .. think i see it is beginning to depend (for me) on which crowd .. but i am still learning how to handle (my distorted thinking) when in the crowd which of course is my real problem .. 'our thinking becomes distorted (without others to help us reason)

Freetime · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi LU, Something I have done when going to events that I'm reluctant to go to, is to tell myself that I only have to stay for a certain amount of time. If I have transportation so I can leave whenever I choose, it takes the pressure off. Once there, I might feel fine and stay for the entire time, but it is very helpful to have the option to leave, with a friendly but firm good-bye to the host.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Another experience that might help is to inventory the event after it has taken place and see if it match the thoughts and feelings you have before you went. I keep the anagram for fear always present...FEAR F alse E vidence A ppearing R eal. It's my head that builds the pictures my emotions fear and this isn't real. My shyness was so attached to fear and my fear acted out in anger...so glad that is over now. ((((hugs)))) smile

lookingup · ~*Service Worker*~

Gee thanks for all this help here,I tend to get over whelmed with fear that taking deep breaths don't work for me,yet I know that fear isn't something to fear,it's just me I guess something I'll have to really dig down deep to get shed of it ,fear ,,,,hugs and more hugs lu

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.