The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have come to realize that most people do not know how to play. They know how to be responsible, work hard, take everything way to seriously however have forgotten how to really play and not in a mean way play with each other.
It always shocks me when I'm engaging with someone and they are so surprised by the whole interchange. Since coming to Texas I have a whole lot more self confidence, a lot more sense of play, I enjoy watching people and starting random conversations. I have met wonderful friends (legitimate friends who we actually hang out with .. LOL) all because of a random conversation. As I get to know them how much fun it is to just play. I also realize how old I am!! When did that happen? Life certainly moves on .. lol.
What happened to fun conversations, not being so busy that you can't look someone in the eye and great them, verbal play.
When I came to Alanon everything was so serious and nothing was funny. Now that I have time and perspective how utterly ridiculous I was, it's not that these things are not serious, however it consumed my life and everything and I mean everything was serious. People are absolutely ridiculously funny. I am very funny in my thoughts and being. LOL.
At some point I'm sure I will have to find a balance in all of it however goodness what a waste of time and energy because I did not know any better.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Thanks so much for your positive post. I'm grateful as too for the progress. It's really refreshing to no longer be hyperfocused on what the alcoholic is doing or not doing or my defects and how to "fix" myself. I'm glad to be living more fully these days and risking to connect with others, make the first effort to engage and being open to try new fun things. It's good to be able to not take myself so seriously, to risk looking awkward and silly when attempting something new and and laugh at myself and not find it offensive when others do too.
When I was a little kid playing with others, there really was no ego at stake. In fact, the goofier I acted the funnier other kids thought it was and the more a sense of belonging it created between you and the other kids. If you fell, the others ran over and tried to help you and when you all ended up falling down in the process you all laughed together. No one was serious
I agree with you that we've already wasted time that we could have been spent focusing on the good things in life. When I didn't know better it was understandable. I was so steeping in absorbing someone else's negativity and believing it was as good as it was going to get. Of course, I was a willing volunteer for this.
With recovery and working through trust issues, I feel much safer today to invite others in and open up myself to them because I trust myself to choose healthier experiences. Today, I love letting go, going with the flow, having fun and just enjoying the moment with friends. Recovery is freeing me of the heavy burden of a lot of old baggage.
Thanks for sharing. (((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Oh boy can I relate to the so serious now how ridiculous essence. Going through legal proceedings sure did suck the fun out of me, when I got free I eventually fell in the exact opposite direction and partied for five months. Woke up to find myself maried with two more kids and anotjer on the way! Lol. Neither extreme was good. Today I have an awesome book collection and finally am making friends again. I agree with how talking can be great fun. I met a lady at my local cafe and we got chatting eventually laughing like complete loons and it was great! Laughter and human connection are such energy givers.
I love laughter and play. I have noticed myself becoming more serious and concerned over the past ten years and it is one of my regrets that play took a back seat - still does to some extent, which can make me feel sad sometimes.
We have been doing up a wreak of a house for many years here in Italy and one day, while back in the UK, we saw a greeting card with a sad looking teddy bear on it. The bear was surrounded by water and leaking pipes. He was saying 'I promise, no more DIY.' We roared with laughter at that card, a real belly laugh, and two total strangers came to the shop window just to be playful - one even crossed the road to join us! The card is now framed and hanging in my kitchen!
Sometimes I hope that I am like the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland - it will be my smile that goes last!
You hit on the keyword BALANCE. Human beings were designed to be productive, however this should not be all consuming. We must temper our work time with play time. In Al-Anon I have come to understand that Self-care is not a Selfish act; as a result I MAKE time for pleasure and treat myself better than I ever have and it has made me a better person. Life is to short not to be enjoyed. I learned to focus on the slogan LIVE (notice the emphasis on the 1st part) and let live. When I set about living rather than existing or even striving my overall satisfaction increases.
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IF you can not be a good example; then you will just have to be a horrible warning
