The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Who has gone thru the roller coaster ride as I am right now? Hubby was sober for a couple weeks, then then drinks again, this time for three days. This is round 3 of sober/not sober.
I hug and praise him and express how happy I am when he is clear. I enjoy the moments of sobriety but gear my mental self, knowing he will drink again. It never fails, I still show my anger even though I try so very hard to stop. He insists he wants to try to quit by himself, but I know he needs help. I went as far as handing him a phone number to set up counseling. That's as far as I will go.
I am in a depression group, went to an anxiety class, been reading Courage to Change and still get angry "at" him. I know I should be angry at the disease. How do you stay calm when your loved one has been drinking?
Hi Naomi, I have been on that roller coaster and am on it again now. No fun. My AH went to in-patient treatment (third time) back in June. Continued with out-patient, continued with AA (still goes to meetings). Just yesterday I found out he's been smoking pot and today found out he's been begging people for Percocets. So right now I'm really disappointed because he was doing so well. He will argue that he's not drinking but at this point it's just a matter of time. It's really good you are in the support groups. They definitely help. I still get angry too but I have been educating myself on the disease and learned it is a lifelong battle. It's our choice whether we want to stick around and fight it with them. (((HUGS)))
Hi Naomi, I can relate to your post, I have been on that roller coaster or merry go round many times in many years.. the one things that helped me get off was this program. I cannot say enough of how grateful I am for it! I am glad you have found us, I would suggest going to some al anon meetings in your area, there is so many great tools in this program. For me my anger did not disappear over night, and honestly it can still rear its head... but I am a work in progress and not perfect. For me by attending meetings, talking to those who are in recovery and having a recovery friend help me apply and work the steps in my life has been vital. Keep coming back, so glad you are here!
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Kats
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you - Lewis B. Smedes
Naomi I'm sending tons of empathy to you from Hilo while listening to "Addiction is a disease" a television commercial. Well we all know that don't we? What am I doing differently? Changing my expectations help a lot..."She is an alcoholic/addict why am I expecting some one else?" Using empathy "God it must be so sad and frightening to live under the influences of her chemicals"...Using awareness and commitment, "I've got to learn about this thing called addiction and to change my responses and reaction".
This not a moral issue...she is not a bad person, she is a very sick person. How do I respond and react to a very sick person. Where do I go and what should I do while there?
That in part only helped me get off of the roller coaster and I am forever grateful. ((((hugs))))
Hello Naomi - glad that you shared and I too can relate. The best part of this program for me is I have a host of tools to use if/when my qualifiers are doing what this disease pulls them to do. It's maddening at times and frightening at times and overwhelming at times, but with the fellowship of this program, the tools, steps and slogans, there is hope.
Please consider meetings locally and keep coming back here - you are not alone!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
