The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm struggling with some anxiety and obssessive thinking. I know the tools and sayings. Letting it go is easier said than done. Sometimes it helps to bring "God" or HP into it. Helps to be mindful, talk to supports. But even then, letting go of intrusive, unproductive, anxious thoughts is a challenge. To the point of getting mad that I won't let go of some thoughts and then internal dialog turns to "Dammit! Why can't you let it go!?" That is not kind to self or helpful either. A friend reminded me I need alanon. Yep. Yes I do.
((Mark)) I can so identify There is a reading in C2C that speaks to obsessive thinking. It compares this thinking to picking up a drink for an alcoholic It suggests that before we pick up the obsessive thoughts, we have choices.
So that instead of deciding to engage in the obsesive thinking we can choose to stop , think about anything else and pray the serenity prayer. Once these thoughts take hold they are harder to dislodge.
You have worked a 5th and 6th Step on this issue -- Now simply ask HP to lift it as in Step 7.
Be gentle with yourself Mark
Boy, this is me to a T. I developed a saying to myself: "Obsession is depression." What it means is that when I get stuck in one of those obsessive loops, it's a sign that I'm immersed in depression. It helps me to realize that the focus is not real, I mean the worry is not a reflection of reality or the compulsion to remake the past is not really about the situation, it's a symptom of a larger mood problem that won't be solved just by "winning" at this situation. It's like I think I have the thinking problem and that causes the bad mood, but actually I have the bad mood and that causes the thinking problem. It helps me let go of it, though sometimes I have to let go of it 1000 times in a row. It also helps me to just derail my thoughts - watch a movie or a TV show or some other kind of narrative. Hang in there.
I'm sorry u r having a hard time letting go....Pink, this may sound like a simplistic answer but meditation on a daily basis is an answer to a calmer self and an awareness like no other. Linsc
The way I see it is we suffer from a set of symptoms due to the disease of alcoholism and Alanon is the medicine. If I dont take the medicine then the symptoms return. I can relate to the obsessive thinking as this is one of my biggest symptoms too. For me, I write it out in a letter to my higher power. It never fails to make me feel better. Sometimes, I recognise that there is a part of me that quite enjoys sitting with it a while. I miss the drama and chaos of my previous years sometimes. Meetings, reahcing out to members (tick) and Maybe some step work will help too.x
Sorry Pinkchip that you're stuck in the head vs. heart debate - I am leaning that way as well......it is so funny el-cee that you mention writing a letter - I began one last night to my son....I just started releasing and will most likely not send it....I may have to write another to HP - perhaps I can then find a bit more peace.
I am triggered this morning by Mother's Day - I know the program tells me I can do what I want and celebrate as I decide - yet there is still that part of me that just wants a small amount of normal - for just one day. I know it will be OK but I am starting to get anxious about it - action, action, prayer, prayer....meditation also does bring me back to center and the now.
Positive thoughts and prayers for serenity for all. I also often forget to remember the progress I have made and the things that are working well - my gratitude list(s) when my mind is distracted or obsessive. Time to switch thinking caps...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
