Today's c2c talks about the concept of humility, and how we can perceive it to mean placing the wants and needs of others above our own, taking care of others and ignoring our own needs.

In al-anon we learn that humility isn't about self deprivation or neglect, but rather about doing our part in our relationship with our HP. The reading suggests that when we take the first step and accept that we are powerless, we are able to allow our HP to take care of the things that we cannot and effectively learn what is, and what isn't, our responsibility.

The reading reminds us that part of learning humility is contributing to our own well-being. It suggests that today, we do something nice for ourselves that we would normally do for someone else.(Wow, what a concept!!)

"We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us- how we can take it- what we do with it- and that is what really counts in the end" (Joseph Ford Newton)

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I love this reading. before i really grasped the idea of al-anon or started the steps in earnest, I did come across this idea of doing for myself the things that I normally do for others and it was actually very hard to do at first!! (I'm pretty good at it now, lol!!)

I was raised in a very typical Catholic family where there was no money, the men drank and behaved like animals and the women slaved and sacrificed and made everyone go to church. My grandmother is extremely self sacrificing and works really hard for everyone else. I know her husband didn't provide, he drank all of his money and she worked and put all of her children through school. She doesn't accept gifts or, if you buy her something it's very likely she will give it to someone else anyway. She does not like to hear of women doing nice things for themselves (it's so selfish) and my mother did try to live up to the same sort of standards but i saw her extremely conflicted as I grew up because my mother LIKES nice things but always felt extremely guilty if she had or did anything nice for herself so she would buy herself stuff, then I would have to hear about how she never had anything growing up and she never does anything for herself and she deserves this (I used to laugh because she was always buying herself things and then telling me she never bought anything, it was kind of crazy. Not that she shouldn't but, that she had so much guilt and conflict whenever she did.

It took me a long time to break out of that mindset; my grandmother was my hero growing up and she told me how selfish my mother was and so i had it firmly in my mind that a GOOD woman went without and the more she sacrificed and kept silent about it the better she was. 

That didn't work out too well really; talk about training myself to have no self esteem or self respect!!

Anyway, I could write a novel about this; this particular reading rings all kinds of bells for me. But nowadays I treat myself well, and I teach my daughter to treat herself well too, and I'm extremely glad to have found a better way because the other way Just Plain Sucked. So, yay for humility that involves self care!!!