The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's c2c speaks about loving and accepting ourselves. It suggests that even if we could make all of the people around us happy and "straighten them out" it would probably not increase our self esteem, in fact it probably makes it worse as we lose ourselves in the process of "sorting out" others.
The reading suggests that we cannot be perfect nor can we make others perfect, but we can remind ourselves that our HP made us and deserves respect for what we are, a 'miraculous self".
The reading reminds us that when we are faced with choices we should opt for the choice that enhances or self esteem.
"I am learning to live a full life, one in which I like and care for the person I am". (Al-anon Faces Alcoholism)
***
I know that I used to see myself as I thought others saw me. So by continuously trying to make them happy and successful and organised and healthy and, and, and...I think I imagined I'd like myself more because, they'd be happier and like me more too.
What a convoluted way to go about things! Plus it didn't work. What made the difference for me i think was deciding to "be my best friend". So any time I started to say something negative or mean to myself I would think "would I say that to my best friend?". No, I really wouldn't. Since beginning to treat myself with love and allowing others to care for themselves too, my self esteem has grown so much. Yay!
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
MsM. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on today's important reading. Keeping the focus on myself, I did see how i hurt myself with people pleasing and abandoning my needs to please others. It is amazing that by taking care of myself in a healthy fashion, I can still be supportive others while rebuilding my self esteem.
Thanks for your service.
Thanks MissMel for your service and the daily! I can relate to this reading - if only I can fix, change, cure, help, control - then all will be well....including me. That's not how it worked for me - even when I got my way, or things went as I thought they should, I was still lost, unhappy and defeated.
I can look back and 'see' the wasted time, energy and emotions I spent trying to fix everything and everyone but me. Keeping the focus on me has turned out to be a much easier, calmer path than the one I was on before. I am grateful that my self-esteem and self-love grow as I grow in this program.
Happy Hump Day to one and all - grateful for MIP and to have this journey with you all!
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
