Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

Luke 1234 · Member

Going out of my mind

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Luke and welcome to the family...Seems like you read my own story. I went thru the same thing and it took me two trips to get into and stay within the Al-Anon Family Groups...I was no superman and the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction understood that so it kept me out and kept me afraid. We I finally got into the rooms it was with the realization that I could not and should not be away from help and the help I found in the rooms knew first hand what I was going thru...mind, body, spirit and emotions.

I learned to be afraid and to go anyway. I took my fear with me and found that most of the fear was based on false evidence which appeared real from my inexperience thoughts and feelings. So let me suggest that you stay afraid, put a smile on your face and then go anyway. You won't "have to" do anything when there...it isn't even required that you speak and we do not require that you identify your loved one as ...whatever... It isn't about her; it is about you and your desire to regain your sanity and serenity. The fellowship at the meeting will understand because the have been where you are at now while also being excited to share with you how it worked out for them.

Let us know how it went for you and how you feel afterward and continue to come here often ...(((hugs))) smile

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Luke.
Doesn't matter if she picked up 5 minutes ago, 2 weeks ago or never at all; as Jerry said, it's about you. Al-anon is for people who are in some way affected by someone else's alcoholism, past or present doesn't matter. Living with alcoholism at any point in our lives can screw up our coping mechanisms and leave us feeling like our heads are going mental.
I was scared to go to my first meeting too and put it off for a long time; I remember walking out feeling lighter than air. It's a very liberating experience, to be amongst people who understand whether you speak or not (and you are certainly not under any obligation to talk, you can just listen).
Have you read much into how al-anon works or read the boards here to get the gist?

Luke 1234 · Member

Hi there thank you for your reply, yes I've looked into it several times and have been on the verge of going but just can't seem to get myself there.i know it's something I have to because I can't go on feeling like this anymore my mind is playing tricks on me all the time. I can't stop thinking about her and I know I need to conentrate myself but I just can't seem to do it. She is ok now and I'm left feeling used unwanted although I've been there for her the whole time it's like I'm not need now. I dont know if that makes sense to you

Luke 1234 · Member

found a meeting Friday night and I'm going to make sure I get myself there one way or another

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello Luke, welcome to Miracles in Progress. I am so glad that you found a meeting and are willing to attend. Please remember that everyone in that room has had the fear and anxiety that you have, and that the pain of living with this disease was too overwhelming so they walked through those doors. I know that was true for me and I never regretted it .

I was given a warm welcome and healthy tools to live by. The supportive group, who understood as few others could, and a safe place to practice my newfound self was a bonus. There is help and hope.

Please come back and let us know how it went.

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello Luke - I too welcome you to MIP - glad you found us and glad you joined in! Also, glad to hear that you found a meeting Friday night and plan to attend. I understand the fear of going to a meeting - I was scared to go. I honestly was equally afraid of not going, as I was so broken, I could not continue as I was.

My hope is you will find a safe haven to listen with an open mind and share if you want/can. I found welcoming folks, tons of information and the ability to breathe deep - and felt I had not done that for a long, long while. There was no judgment - only understanding and the best part - I found a small amount of comfort, hope and peace at my first meeting - even though I had no clue what I was doing, what it was about or what I was going to do next.

Looking forward to you joining our journey and hearing about your meeting! Keep coming back!

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

You might want to look in on the one line meetings we have twice daily Luke just to get a taste of the dialogue. aww

Luke 1234 · Member

Thanks for you messages you all very caring, just woke up for well say that been awake most of the plus crazy dreaming yet again. Where do I find the online meetings? Thanks again everyone

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Luke Here is the information regarding the on line meetingsAl-Anon Family Group

Meeting/Chat Room

Meetings
9 AM EST Mon-Fri
9 PM EST Mon-Sat
10 AM EST Sat & Sun
7 PM EST Sunday

link

www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.htmlV
iton

V

Luke 1234 · Member

Thanks ill work it out then hopefully get one because I'm in the uk sure if I log on to your link they will There thanks

KT2015 · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Luke
Welcome! I hope you were able to find a face to face meeting too. I was scared too. The on line meetings are great but I find face to face a little more helpful. The most reassuring thing for me about attending an al anon meeting was that I didn't have to do anything. I didn't have to talk or share. And at first I didn't. I just sat and listened. And the messages in the meeting were so reassuring. I felt welcome and I didn't feel any pressure and I felt like I was in the right place. It's hard to take the first step to go to a meeting but it's worth it.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene