The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Why is it that it seems that lots of people like to create controversy & lies then gossip about it? I am so sick of the media assuming things. IF I was in the position that some people are, I would be outraged. I am not a gossip generally speaking but I care about most people I talk about. I guess I can slip in a few hum-dingers but I chose to listen & try not to spread what could be a non-truth. I am so glad that I am not part of the generation where I have to believe everything I hear.
That is my beef today. I guess I am officially complaining. I am so glad that I am not part of the me-generation either. I just want to be a part of something great not something so-so.
Here-Here!!! I agree also. I came upon a few younger members of the AA fellowship who were talking badly about another member. A gal who has been around a long while (25+ years) was standing with them giggling too. Before I could stop myself, I basically said, "This is not very program like ladies!" And walked away!! It stopped them in their tracks for that moment....
It has been my experience that those who focus on others, with good intentions or not, are full of fear to 'see their true selves'. Time and time again I have seen those who are wrapped up in the lives of others don't really know themselves - they are superficial and believe they are better than others. Not because they truly are but because this allows them to survive within themselves.
I will usually walk far away from anyone who is talking about another when they aren't present. I even got into a debate about good gossip vs. bad gossip in a 12 Step Study once. I am of the mindset that if it is not directly affecting me, it's not my story to tell, share or judge. Good or bad - case in point - I got into a fender-bender about 1.5 years ago. Both my thumbs were broken and I had called a program friend (closest to accident) for help. She was not home - was clear across town and could not help. I thanked her and moved on.
When I walked into the next F2F meeting, multiple people came up to me and asked how I was and how my car was. The gal I had called to help had shared my business with the whole place! I was not happy - it's my business and my story to share, not hers. She had no bad intentions, but she's just a busy-body and I no longer share with her - to me she can't be trusted to know what's hers to share and what is not hers to share.
If you carefully watch one who gossips or embellishes stories seeking attention, they actually appear happier as they get more attention. It's truly a fascinating element about the way self-esteem and self-worth affect people.
But - I understand your beef and am so grateful that I no longer have to listen to or participate in gossip for any reason at any time. (((Hugs))) - I get it....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
