The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is my birthday. Its like the cold war here. AH is in a full relapse. There is no more slips, there is nothing but active drinking. Every day. He drives home that way from work-an hour. Last night he said he would be home at 730 so that I could go to my face to face, my children called me from their fathers car in my driveway to tell me he was not home. Dry ExAH is probably whooping that up! AH passed out in is recliner and the snoring started. I put his pillows on the couch and went to bed alone. I woke this morning to signs and glitter every where from my kids. A present on my desk from AH - a bracelet that has the serenity prayer inscribed. Very thoughtful and very touching gift. I still feel nothing but emptiness. I have reached my rock bottom. I do not wish to go on this way. I look back on my Facebook posts and we have been dealing with this progression of his disease for over a year. He just called me and wished me a happy birthday and said I had it all wrong. He didn't drink yesterday. He was exhausted. He worked until 7 pm and there was traffic jam on the Delaware Memorial bridge. Um, he called me at 530 to tell me he had left and on the news the bridge report said that the emergency cable replacement was almost done and that traffic was opening up early yesterday afternoon. So...its whatever. Im going to do me today. I am taking money from the account and I am going shopping. I am going to get properly fitted for a bra, I am going to buy myself perfume, and I had ice cream for breakfast.
Lol, cute Milkwood Happy birthday Suzann, I wish you the best "me" day ever. I share a birthday with my A and every single year he starts drinking the day before and goes on bender. Anyway last year I celebrated with daughter and he did his own thing alone. And it was a good birthday, just my daughter and I. Shopping, nails done, then pizza and movies. The first nice birthday in a decade really!! I had all these ideas of how we should be able to have this great romantic birthday together so i tried to force it every year..when I look back I can't work out why I didn't just leave him to it and go and have fun without him. Let me know which perfume you get so I can check it out next time I am out shopping
-- Edited by missmeliss on Friday 22nd of April 2016 01:46:35 PM
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
(((Suzann))) - Happiest of birthdays to you! Your me day sounds positively lovely. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!!
Sending positive thoughts and tons of love your way for your special day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Happy birthday (((((Suzann))))). Have a great and blessed day! I like the "So...its whatever". That happens to me too, my AH would always have a justification, a reason, an excuse... I don't know what to believe anymore, what the truth is. I keep on surrendering everything to God... praying that God will do and deal with my husband as God wills it... and that God will do to me as He wills it. I keep focus on myself, do things with or without him... I tell myself my happiness should not depend on him. Have a great and blessed day! How I wish I could be with you on this day... just keep in my mind we are all here for you.
Thank you all very much. I had a great day!!! missmeliss I bought white diamonds. I hit a bra sale at Victorias Secret and they are amazing. I did everything on my list. I even started spring cleaning. I didn't hear from my A son, not even a text or a facebook post but it's ok, I know where I stand. I worked in my yard all day yesterday after church. I got to see my other obsession, my neighbor and bff 3 month old she is fostering looking to adopt. Interestingly enough, he was diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome. Thank you for thinking of me Jocel and everybody.
