The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is actually just for the moment comment. I know that I am not perfect. Even when I make mistakes I realize that the one who is criticizing me is not perfect either. I guess my AH is still reaching for perfection in me. I am constantly apologizing for whatever he finds wrong w/ me. And, I still find myself discussing things w/ him & he constantly says we are arguing. Just the other day we threw F-bombs at each other. That is not at all like me. He claims he said the things he said because he is sick. He even said that all I do is use him. I wish that he could see that I am not perfect & that I am a work in progress. He claims that I should never make major mistakes by his words & actions. I am not angry anymore. I just want to share a bit of my life. I am no longer desperate to tell anyone about all this.
Today is Patty Duke's memorial. It is actually not far from where I live. It looks like it is going to be packed. I wish I could go but it seems that it might be a little bit of a media circus. So, I can really appreciate her activism. She has stood up for a lot a people who have bipolar disorder like me. I am so grateful for her life & what she has done.
So, that was off-topic but means a lot to me so I thought I would share.
I am so grateful this is an open forum for people like me & that there is always someone out there who can relate to part of my story.
(((Kathleen))) - I loved Patty Duke and she was a huge source IMO for awareness about MH issues. I hope she rests in peace and am sorry she left so soon!!! HP must have needed her in another place/space....
I have actually said to mine when they get verbal that, "I am human, I do make mistakes."...I use this statement instead of "I'm sorry" which was my go-to all the time. I will always apologize if I've wronged someone, but I no longer have that as my go to - I've replaced that with a pause, and a kind response that better reflects the moment.
You have your truth and he has his. My favorite thought is that maybe one day, we'll unite and our truth will match - but I don't expect it. Sorry he's unaware of your humanisms.....that's OK - he's also a WIP (Work in Progress).
So glad you keep coming back!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
