The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just checking in. I've been in touch with my sponsor this morning, read my daily readings, cried a little bit and over all feel somewhat 'paralyzed' today. I find my thoughts drifting to 'him' and wondering how he is doing - is he feeling as sad, hurt and grief-filled as I do? Or is he mad and bitter. This is not productive thinking. I talked to my mom who lives 900 miles away - they are so very heartbroken for me, they really loved him and were so happy I was 'happy'. My mom says maybe in 'time', he will get his act together and come back to me 'a whole new man'. *sigh*
I do not feel like doing anything today but the weather is beautiful and I am going to force myself to put on some running gear and get out for a walk, and maybe throw some brief light running in and start to work this heart back to 'pre-heart attack' strength. Easy Does It though. And this will definitely be 'acting as if' because if I did what I truly feel like doing, I would be continuing to sit on my butt all day, crying and reminiscing and feeling lonely and sad.
Off I go, wish me luck.
Hugs to all,
Cyndi
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"There will be an answer. Let it be." ~ The Beatles
Fake it 'til you make it - always been my motto! Do things you enjoy, get dolled up and go grocery shopping; do your hair and nails just for you. Pamper yourself a bit and you won't be able to help feeling at least a little happy.
I love that thought force and slogan...when I fake it I can often get past my negative attitude and find myself in a new paradigm feeling different...YAY!!!
I'm late to this 'party' but I too love fake it until you make it. It has often been the slogan needed to change my attitude as Jerry says. I know when I am sad I do better doing something - anything. If I sit and process, I often have to set a time limit and talk with my sponsor or a trusted program friend. I can still dwell if I don't take action. I am more likely to go for a run, walk or garden when I am reflective and sad. For me, there is something very comforting in nature that lasts longer than retail therapy (used to do that - temporary fix for me)...
Be gentle with you and practice self-care in any manner that brings you peace....you are not alone and we're all here for you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
