The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am confused about which additional C2C date I volunteered to post. S ince ist has not been posted for today I will do so.
The C2C reading for April 13 speaks about responding to situations with kindness and courtesy . It points out that we can decide to always "place principles above personality" and treat everyone with respect and courtesy no matter what.
We can stay with this decision without being defensive becausewe have processed these principles and believe that this is the most esteem able actions we can take in all situations . We "respect "our right to make the best decision, even when others are not happy with those decisions.
Relationships are complicated because people are complicated. We share our ideas, values and hopes and can always support each other with kindness and respect. This simple act goes a long way towards making disagreements dissolve.
The quote is from The Talmud "the highest form of wisdom is kindness."
Many years go I read this page and made the decision to alter my reactions and practice this (principle every day every where it was hard at the beginning as my old negative tools kept wanted to jump in (sarcasm, one up manship, ignoring etc ) but the more I practiced, the easier it has become and today through many years or practice I can see and feel the benefit- I can maintain my serenity in situations that once sent me over the wall and for this I am grateful .
Thank you for your service and your ESH on today's reading. I have had a few situations with the principal at my school. TO make a long story shorter, there have been times when he has not done his job as an administrator (at least in the opinion of those of us who have been teaching a while). My sponsor suggested I make a gratitude list with this person in mind, and it has completely changed my attitude about the whole situation.
I am grateful to be part of this gentle program. I love the quote from the Talmud in today's reading as well.
This reading really resonates with me today. I have had more than a few conflicts with my partner, and I have recognized that I had reverted back to my old pre-Al-anon pattern of reacting defensively, sarcastically or in a 'superior' fashion. I once joked with my boyfriend after a disagreement, 'holy cow I felt like I was arguing with my ex husband!'. In reality, I always began with my calm and reasonable self, and bf would respond with defensiveness, sarcasm and superiority - and when that happens, I find myself mirroring that behavior! One of my character defects in my first Step 4 was this very dynamic - I was stubborn and defensive with my exAH, and suddenly here I am in my present relationship, repeating the same pattern, and usually after he has had drinks. If this isn't a clue that I'm in the wrong relationship, I don't know what is!
So I am grateful for this reminder today. Soon I will be having the hard conversation with my boyfriend as I move to end the relationship. I will not give in to any anger, defensiveness, blame or shame on his part by reacting in the same manner. I will keep it simple. I must respect my ultimate decision to walk away, and not give in to my impulse to justify, argue, defend or explain myself. I will try my best to maintain kindness, even if he responds in anger.
Classic conflict avoider here - so when I find myself responding in a less than classy fashion as I have at times with my bf, that is a clue to me that something is 'amiss'.
Ever grateful for this program!
Hugs,
Cyndi
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"There will be an answer. Let it be." ~ The Beatles
Sorry Betty, it is my day; I decided to sleep and do it in the morning which I thought was still early on Wednesday over there. The "posting time" is sort of right in the middle of the night for me so usually I do it early.
Thank you for your courtesy, esh and service!!
This is a good reminder for me today as I have difficult people to deal with and must remember to remain courteous and not allow murderous rage to get the best of me.
Oh no, the garbage truck just came past and we forgot to put the bins out, what a start to the day. Might be harder to stay pleasant than I thought!!
Good chance to practice!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
That's very different to how I understood the times to be. As I understood, if I posted at 1am here the first american state would be at about 6am So I thought if I slept and did it in the morning it would be about lunch time there. Hmm, I will have to find a better world clock thingy!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Betty - thank you for the daily and your service! I am out tomorrow and Friday - I think you are doing Friday and MissMel is going to do tomorrow....It is 7:36pm in my world Mellie - if that helps at all. I am the world worst at the time changes and time zone changes....
Today's reading for me is a reminder of how to be always!! One of my son's actually pointed out to me a long while ago that I was kinder to strangers than to them. Of course, in my mind, the stranger didn't curse at me, or ignore me or break my rules or ..... I was able to justify my bad behavior before this program. This did stick with me, so I've worked really hard to try and treat them as my sons whom I love - even when I don't like their disease, choices, attitudes, etc. I can always find a tool to use from this program which keeps me grounded - long enough to at least excuse myself with grace if I really want to run.
One of my prayers has to do with remaining humble in mind, heart & spirit so that I might be teachable by everyone who crosses my path today. I try, as best as possible, to practice this principles before personalities in all my affairs and it certainly helps my heart stay open.
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks IAH I can identify . I too strive to remain humble in mind, heart and spirit-- How freeing that is
I will be sure to post the reading on Friday-- Have a great time on your trip.
And I will post tomorrows, tonight, or something like that lol!
Have fun!!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thanks girl......I think you can post any time that works good for you - if it's early....good - if it's late....good....
I'm in a "It's all good" mood - I am leaving town tomorrow for sunshine and warmer weather!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks LU - had a blast....way too short but glad to be home!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
