The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I have this young friend who owned a little dog. The dog stayed with us often while her owner went out on long drugged and alcoholic adventures. Her owner is a mess. So the last time we had her dog, we tried really hard to get her to leave the dog with us. it didn't work and now the dog is dead and we are so pissed. Hard to let go of this resentment. Rotten disease.
Hello DM I so sorry to read of this painful event. I have found that resentments only hurt me. The longer I hold on to the resentment the more pain I feel.
I find that by so doing I have never allowed myself to process the event by allowing myself to grieve the loss and disappointment. When I am too busy blaming someone else for their actions, I must learn to turn the focus back to myself appreciate the fact that I did give the dog a good life when he was with me and bless his memory.
Hey DM - I too am so sorry to hear of this.....truly sad indeed. The only time resentments have been helpful to me is when I have processed them, and used them to grow as a person and/or change something in my scope...
I love your photo of the pups! I am one who rescues dogs so no matter how they come to me and how long they live (I've taken a couple who had short lives), I know they have peace and a better existence than before. So, I try to hold on to that which was/is good and let go of the rest.
Sorry for your loss and keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I feel a lot of resentment for my ex-husband. His actions made it impossible for me to keep my baby. The least he could have done would have been buying me a plane ticket home so I could live with family while I worked things out. I haven't found a way to let go of that. I know it's a poison in my heart. Maybe if her parents end up sending me pictures and I see that she's happy - I know she is, but that's not the same as seeing it - maybe then, I can let go of some of it. But it still kills me that she isn't here with me. That she's calling someone else mommy. I hate him for it.
I'm not surprised you are angry but as Hotrod says, you gave that dog love and peace in it's short life and that means a lot. You gave what you could and I'm sure you had lots of love back from that puppy as well.
I have yet to figure out any use for resentments apart from looking at why I'm having them and figuring out what I might do differently next time. Once I've decided then it seems easier to let them go. Not always easy, but a well fed resentment once made me physically ill and I won't go there again!
I love the four little chaps in your picture - are they yours? Just adorable.
You may find it hard to let go of a resentment, but turn the tables and ask yourself what good comes from holding on to it. Forgiveness is not necessarily about restoring the offender to their previous position in your life prior to the offense. It does not excuse any wrong doing but rather stops the action from having any negative effect on your life. It releases any power that act had over you and allows you to move forward with your life.
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IF you can not be a good example; then you will just have to be a horrible warning
