The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays courage to change talks about continuing to come back to al-anon whether we are living with active alcoholism or not. It discusses using al-anon as our "light in the darkness" and a way to keep structure in our lives and maintain a rational perspective.
The reading points out that no matter how much time we have spent in al-anon, we do not ever become "experts" and nor do we have authority over new members. By the same token, we still have the right to have problems, make mistakes, and not know the answers. It suggests that we an give service without 'being in charge".
The reminder points out that our previous time spent in al-anon is less important than how we use our time in al-anon today.
The quote is from ODAAT- "I don't resort to al-anon only to learn to live with the active drinking problems. It is my way of life, an increasingly rich and rewarding life, as I learn to use the program in depth".
***
I'm glad to know this now. In the early days I thought that everything I spoke about in al-anon HAD to be about one of my qualifiers and their drinking, otherwise, I was "wasting people's time". isn't that funny- that early on I thought if I was talking about myself and my own thoughts, feelings, experiences, it was a waste of time, yet I quite easily accepted that this amazing group of people in al-anon were interested in talking all day long about my qualifiers because, THEY are important and interesting and deserve help (that they haven't asked for). So to begin with, I, like many other people, believed I was here to ask for help to learn how to help some other people do things that they didn't want to do!!! Its crazy on so many levels!!!
What I understand now is, that it would be entirely possible for me to attend al-anon every day for the rest of my life and never mention any of my qualifiers ever again. I'm here for me and to offer service where I can, to be the best and happiest me I can be, regardless of what others are doing. That means being open to learning and new understandings at all times, and reminding myself that I do not know all of the answers nor can I understand another's experience just because it seems similar to mine so, the best I can do for myself AND for others is to listen with an open heart and mind and be willing to learn from each and every person and experience! And that's much better than the way i thought I was meant to do it. What a relief!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Great post and powerful reminder Ms.M.. Alanon is about letting go of destructive, unrealistic tools and habits while developing new tools to live by and by practicing these principles each and every day .
We do this by continuing to attend meetings,placing principles, above personalities and passing along our ESH to others as they arrive.
I liked the reading as it also pointed out that by using alanon tools, it does not mean we will not have problems, sadness, or pain in our lives-- it simply means that we have constructive tools to live by and can now face life with the support of like minded others and with courage, serenity and wisdom.
Thanks for your service.
Thanks MissMel for your service, ESH & the daily!!! I like this reading as it reminds me that no matter how far down I was and no matter where I am, I will still always have chances to keep learning and growing. I have always bored easy with jobs, schooling, etc. - feeling like I am 'holding still' and not learning. That has never happened to me in recovery - I feel and live daily knowing with each experience, it happens to teach me and help me grow.
We used to have a saying that the person with the most recovery is the person who woke up first. Since it's a one day at a time program, this helped me feel open to sharing early and to make mistakes after some time in the program. I love that nobody is more important than another - we are all equals coming together to share our ESH in the hopes of helping others and growing.
I will never graduate from Al-Anon, and I am grateful. The program for me does help me set standards for daily living and loving no matter what else is going on around me. Good days and bad days alike, I can have hope as I have tools to get me where I need to be or should be!
(((Hugs))) to all - what a lovely reading to consider as I go about my day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
