The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So - I'll share my adventures from last night - ball fields - adult recreational softball - late games ... 8:30 and 9:30pm - 40 degrees.
Crazy as it seems, we did go out to the fields last night for softball - we had the late games. We show up and are walking to the fields, and there is some discussion in the air of police, fights, assault, and more. This happens at times as there is booze flowing and competitive spirits.
I wasn't surprised and continued on my merry way. As I got closer to our field, I did realize that whatever had transpired happened on our field. Needless to say, we walked up on the tail-end of the drama and apparently there was some mouthing off to the umpire, some words exchanged and 9-1-1 called because the umpire felt threatened. I still didn't react/think too much about it, but after 35+ years of playing softball around here, I know most folks so the players felt the umpire was at fault. They always think this and ...
Anyhoo, we begin our games and know the team we are playing against well. We are competitive but respectful and friendly - this is recreational league....FOR FUN! The umpire was new and was not in a good mood. Needless to say, after 2-3 innings, we could understand why the teams before us were frustrated with him. He had friends/family that came out for his debut evening and at every field change/.5 inning, he engaged in discussion. Keep in mind, we pay healthy league fees to play ball, and our games are limited to one hour. So - a few minutes of dialogue when we're ready to play is new to me and annoying.
If that were the only issue, we'd give feedback on the survey and let it go. However, he could not keep track of runs, balls, strikes or just about anything to do with numbers. Uhmmmm - in baseball, this is an issue. So - again, friendly teams playing against each other, we would track runs in our dugouts and confirm at the end of each .5 inning. No biggie.
So - I am the catcher. I hear most things, from either team and almost everything from the umpire's mouth/perspective. I try to always be pleasant and have fun - softball for me is part of my self-care and is therapeutic for me....well - about every inning or so, this umpire began waffling between perfect silence, quasi-social and then pent-up rage. He even one inning stated to me that our team was a bunch of blankety blank blanks....when I came out to catch. I kept my back to him, did not react and did not share with the team as folks in general were frustrated.
Long story short, we are about 3/4 the way through the second game, and all hell broke loose. I was headed out on the field to my position, and a guy on our team who is about 6'2" and 250 lbs. was 1.5 inches from the umpires face who is probably 5'8" and 150 lbs. I stopped in my tracks and then realized that the UMPIRE was the aggressor. Our guy stayed perfectly quiet and calm and this umpire lost his @#$#.
Our guy walked off the field to our dugout, and the umpire followed and threw a punch. There you go - our team pinned the umpire down, 9-1-1 is called for the 2nd time in the night, the field people come running and I stayed on the field. Needless to say, someone filmed it, the umpire was escorted out with a full circle of folks around him. When the police arrived, the umpire peeled out of the lot, decided to have a car chase with the Po-Po and got caught further away in the city.
***sigh*** - by the time 15+ people told the police the exact same story, filled out witness statements, got ID's checked and were released, it was a bit after midnight. I will admit, as much as I don't like drama/chaos, it was kind of fun to have a bit at the fields. Usually, when this happens, it is player vs. player and ... believe it or not ... not always just the men!!! So - having the umpire be the instigator, the fuel, and the fire was a new experience to me.
As I drove home, I realized that this young man clearly has/had anger issues. As I considered the whole evening, I decided it is very possible he has issues beyond anger. One of the guys on our team suggested they pinned him down as they figured to be his size and come after such a big guy, he might be armed. This was not a thought I had at the time, but one that made a ton of sense as I drove home. We see this kind of thing go from harmless to deadly in a manner of minutes every day now, so the entire chaotic event kept me awake for a bit last night.
I was very proud of our player that he didn't just choke him out on the field - said that a year ago, he would have but he's happy now because he is sober! (did not know this until last night). I was very grateful that all ended with nobody seriously hurt and that I kept my mouth shut, my distance from the chaos and endured the lack of sleep.
And that just goes to show you that --- even when you are doing what you want/need to do for self-care - @#$# happens. It is great progress for me to be an observer and a witness instead of engaged and contributing!!
(((Hugs))) - skipping ball until Tuesday - need a break!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Well that sounds like one entertaining ball game. Wow!
Glad nothing terrible happened. Maybe being involved in such a public spectacle will be a catalyst for the angry dude, who knows? Drug affected maybe?
They play football (the australian kind) behind my house and all of the aggressive shouting makes me want to hide under the bed, and that's without any serious conflict. Ick.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
That sounds . . . interesting.
I'm not athletic at all. I meet my need for competition with video games. I'll play LOTRO and trash talk orcs and goblins all night long. I can mouth off all I want and not make anyone mad. I get strange looks from my boyfriend and anyone else who happens to be around, but . . . I have fun. And when I'm feeling frustrated, telling an orc to come and get some is therapeutic.
Actual sports with other people . . . no thanks. I'll watch if there's good food. I was a cheerleader once upon a time, but I lost all my flexibility when I broke my back. I think I might start working on that again. I liked being able to do cartwheels and whatnot.
Thanks all - it was an interesting evening.....you got that right. I was driving home thinking I just don't understand how we got here from there...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Betty - it was a night to remember....and yeah - I like to catch - it's the closest position from either dugout!!! Ha.ha.ha.ha....I venture out at times and play infield or outfield but I am a bit lazy at the end of the day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Betty - I kind of think that about you too!!!! Want to adopt me? ha.ha.ha.ha....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
This umpire was having trouble focusing and getting the show on the road, as well as trouble keeping track of runs and hits and all - and was being crazily belligerent - those ring bells for drunkenness or substance abuse to me. My A would get like that at certain stages of drunkenness - no slurring or lurching or anything like that, just lack of focus, memory problems, and belligerence. If the umpire were my A, for sure he would be drunk.
So another reason to be sober and alert - because you never know where the people acting drunk (or actually drunk) will come from.
I hear you Mattie - I was very grateful driving home - grateful for my own sobriety and grateful that I can stay out of the fray (a gift from Al-Anon)...
If he was under the influence, it was different and had to be substances. He had no glass, bottle or cooler on the field - most do...he did not. I truly believe it was mental based on how it came/went, ebbed/flowed and then exploded.
In hindsight, I truly feel kind of bad for him. Whether he does/doesn't have MH issues, umpiring is certainly not a good fit for him and his frustration was so over the top.
HJF today - what a gift (Happy, Joyous & Free)!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
What an interesting night at the ballfield. I'm so glad no one got hurt. Yes, I've experienced a lot of baseball and softball in my life. My AH played baseball professionally, and I played softball in high school, and have played in a couple of "beer ball" leagues. Those days are way gone for me.
What a great example your player was for the rest of the people at the ball field last night. He showed great discipline. Who knows who was watching.
Oh, and by the way, I believe the catcher is the brain of the team. That says a lot about you!
Ha.ha.ha.ha. sweetness - when I saw that brain of the team, I almost spit out my water! The way my brain works, I felt real important, for about 1/2 a second!!! Thanks - I do love watching and reading all aspects of the game and I pay attention....I will probably become an umpire when I retire from playing.
I did retire once, and got pulled back in. I am 53 - I am one of the older ones for sure....I believe I would do just fine as an umpire - I will throw out unruly ding-bats that forget it's about recreation, safety and fun more than anything else!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Geez, even my AH, a pitcher, will say that the catcher is the brain. He coaches now, and love to coach catching and hitting the most.
I'm 52, and have had a lot of health issues, since July, that will most likely prevent me from doing anything remotely close to recreational baseball. My AH still throws a mean batting practice though.
I am, however, a great scorekeeper! I grew up loving baseball, listening to it on the radio with my Grandma, and going to games, when possible. I grew up in a neighborhood of all boys, and was really upset when I wasn't allowed to play on a boys' baseball team. So, I did the next best thing. I asked to learn how to keep score for my brother's team, so I could sit on the bench, and be as close to the game as possible.
I love it too sweetness - and I had 3 brothers and no sisters. Like you, most of the neighborhood was boys so I was a tom-boy.....I also kept score - and then had 2 boys who both played and did the books for their teams/coaches. It is a fabulous game - love, love, love to watch it - all levels from t-ball to majors!
I am playing tonight....different team, different park as a sub! I get asked to play Co-Ed all the time - I am responsible and if I say I will be there, I am there. It is therapeutic for me and since I love the game, it's fun to go out and play....
I am fortunate to not have health issues. I am blessed actually. When I was little, I was very small and never on any charts. So, when all the other girls were blossoming, I was behind. I've been behind my whole life. Fast forward to adult-hood - I'm still small (which now is a gift as many of my friends have put on weight over the years and I'm just now suffering from a slowed metabolism) and still a late bloomer....ha.ha.ha.
Just goes to show you that which seems to be an inequity at one point in life can be an asset at another!!!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
IAH, I hope you had a better experience last night, at the ball field!
I wish so much I could be more active. I have always been healthy, and have always been grateful for that. I never took any medication. Then, in July, I ended up with a really strange skin disorder (which I learned was hereditary), which caused some awful infections. Without going into details, I ended up with an awful infection, which caused me to have three surgeries in one week. When I went to the hospital, initially, they said I was borderline diabetic. After all of the surgeries, etc, my pancreas stopped working. I am now a Type I diabetic and have a thyroid disorder. Not only that, but, because the surgeries involved debriding my entire abdominal wall, there has been a ton of nerve damage. I'm not on insulin, and other medications.
I know I will never play softball again. The running won't be possible. I'm hoping that I might be able to play golf again some day.
I'm not happy about it, but I have to say, that my AH was such an incredible nurse through all of this. He really does have so many incredible qualities, which is why I'm still with him.
Sweetness - congrats. to your hubby on the week - that's a great start and prayers for his continued success! So sorry that your health 'flipped' for you but grateful he was of service....makes it easier to go through things with support than trying to go it alone!
I did start golf last year as I know I can't play ball forever....I play with my sponsor so that makes it even better. She's a wise lady and we golf and talk and ...
Last night was good - calm, competitive and fun. We won one and lost one - good enough for me. I played 2nd base, which being a southpaw takes the double-play out of the equations. I suppose having a gal who will stand in for hard hit grounders makes up for the loss of the double-play option - LOLOL...needless to say, I kept telling 3rd & SS to throw to the bag or backside (glove hand) and of course, one came front. I know better yet body reactions are what they are, so I put my bare hand out to try and catch the throw. I knocked it down and we got the out BUT I jammed the two middle fingers of my primary hand.
So - now I get to travel with sore, crooked fingers!!! And, I have 4 games tomorrow night - *sigh*! One day, maybe, I will learn. Just glad they are not broken - BTDT (Been There Done That).
My retirement may come sooner than desired - depends on how many injuries I get during the season (March thru October). Ha.ha.ha....
Sounds like today is a good day - mine too! Collecting my things for my trip and counting down the days!! ~~Florida Bound on Thursday~~ The best part - I thought I would miss softball Friday night - we have a bye week! So, I won't miss any games at all - yahoo!
Have a blessed day and keep doing what you are doing!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Ouch!!! Jammed fingers are awful! That makes it difficult for bat, throw, everything. You're right, a southpaw at 2nd is not the best placement. You reacted, and ouch! I'm sure you're throwing on the tape. LOL
Hubs is really, really upset because we have had rain, rain, rain, and the ball fields around here are not playable. They are stacking up games, because they can't play. As it was, he was supposed to have four games this week. Now, it's Tuesday and two have been cancelled already. Thankfully, the sun is shining today. Hopefully, with that, and some wind, the fields will dry out.
I haven't golfed in quite a while. Financially, we have been strapped, so it's something we had to give up. Plus, my Hubs suffered a pretty severe dog bite, two years ago, and missed that entire season. Last year, after my Dad passed, no one really wanted to play, in the Spring, because that was something we did with him. Then, I got sick. Hopefully, I will be able to swing this year, and our financial situation will allow us to get out once in a while.
Hey sweetness - well - we were rained out the first 2 weeks, so have some stacking too.....They add it at the end of the season so we'll be praying spring longer than planned. It's cool here today, but the sun is shining so off I go in about an hour....plus a bit. I am on 2 teams tonight so have 4 games - but my fingers feel better. I did not tape them - I crack my knuckles so have continued to keep them loose.
They still hurt but I am not a girly girl so ... must take the field!! Ha.ha.ha.ha...
This will be it for a week since I am heading out of town. My hope is no balls to the shins....gotta wear a dress for the wedding I am going to! I have a maxi dress on stand-by just in case - like a scout....always prepared!!
Hope your weather clears up soon and you get to enjoy some fun in the sun. The sun vs. rain affect my moods a bit - love the sunshine!!
(((Hugs))) to you both!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I'm laughing about the back-up maxi dress. Good planning!!! Hope your games are played well with no new hurts, especially balls to the shins.
Hugs back to you!
Just got home - one ball to each shin.....***sigh*** - hoping bruising isn't too bad tomorrow. Off to bed - never a dull moment at the softball fields!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
