The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Never ceases to bring back the thought force which was the tap root for me understanding that "I could be wrong when I was judging and taking a know it all attitude against the alcoholic/addict wife" I judge her/them quite harshly until I got to that page and the help of the old timers. "Thank you God I now understand that Thorns have Roses". Looking at the picture with a new set of eyes was what was given to me and my soul relaxed and my alcoholic/addict now had more margin to move within eventually finding her own higher power; getting clean and sober and appearing the bright angel she was created to be.
The Al-Anon Family Groups is a serious tool when accepted and practiced to change lives and spirits of those who have been negatively affected by this life threatening disease.
Gonna go to my morning "At the Bay" meeting. I'll be thinking of you all. (((((hugs)))))
I think its easier to not judge some people than others. I don't judge my bf because we were both broken - just in different ways. I was ridiculously depressed. He helped me fix me and find myself again. Really, he just stood behind me and supported me in what I needed to do to get back to being myself. Now, its time for me to stand behind him.
On the other hand, I have a really hard time not judging drug addicts. Drug addicts have hurt me more in my life than any alcoholic ever has. Maybe that's why. I also have 2 very close friends who are alcoholics and I think they have helped me understand it more. Natalie hasn't had a drink in almost 7 years. She got a positive pregnancy test and never took another drink. She was able to quit and stay quit for Lexi. Kirby nearly lost her son to dfs because of her drinking. Its a complicated story but dfs was called with false reports but since Kirby had been drinking, they opened a case. She's a great mom and always took great care of Keaton, but dfs told her she had to stop drinking. It was difficult for her, but she was able to stop for him.
Jerry - I love page 100 in ODAT - Al-Anon.....I had not read it today, so when your post popped up on my screen, I had to get up, go out to my car, find my tote bag and dig it out! This AM, I only read the C2C and I had a super strange evening last night resulting in me not getting home until almost 1am....
This reading for me described me well before the program. I would grab hold of an issue and go round and round and round and round trying to fix, control, manage, etc. The biggest issue with that is I had no tools to problem solve properly so it rarely if ever worked.
I love the reminder as well - "there is some good in even the darkest troubles that happen to me." I am so grateful the program taught me how to seek out the good in things that have happened and to learn instead of resent or dwell.
I can say that when my mind wants to get 'judgy' today, I have to remind myself that we are all imperfect humans in an imperfect world doing the best we can with what we got - some got more than others. I have been able to let go of my resentments, and no longer see others as worse than or better than me.
Great reading today and worthy of the share! Thanks for your ESH and making me get up and read it!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
That is indeed a powerful page and the one responsible for me having a"Light Bulb" moment and accepting the fact that my judgement and blaming of others is a destructive tool that hurts me .In stead of participating in tis activity I should place principles above personalities at all times and treat one and all with courtesy and respect while keeping the focus on myself instead of others . Thanks for the reminder Jerry.
Thank you for the great share Jerry undoing my patterns of judgement are a continual process of practice. New perspectives are key and I love the visual of thorns having roses!
I don't have the ODAAT but I probably should get it as judgment is a real problem for me. I grew up with it and it is a learned behavior. Just yesterday I was speaking with my mother and we were discussing my 16 almost 17 year old daughter. My daughter has "daddy" issues and often seeks male attention from very poor choices and in non healthy ways. My mother came across very judgmentally and made me feel guilty for my daughters poor choices. I have taken her to counseling, I have made sure she has the tools, I have given her whatever she needs to protect herself, she is still under 18 so I do govern where she goes and what she does, but I also give her the opportunity to learn independence and make better choices. I discovered therein lies a lot of my crazies. If I cant control the thinking of my own child I certainly cannot control my AH and the opinions of my mother, my sister, etc. Thanks for this.
