The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Not my best day. Started off with me being asked to help a co worker out and drive 21 miles to an area not familiar with, but I rely on Google maps. Got close to the airport and my phone literally fries in my hand! Its currently a cold glob of molten plastic and Verizon is making me use my insurance because there was a little crack on the face...so that cost me extra for the deductible....AH had a flare up in his knee, admitted that he had been drinking this week due to stress and not being able to trust anyone so he cant use his supports.....I finally got home and daughter texting my work phone wanting to do this and that, son had a dr apt, AH is asleep on the couch dishes in the sink, he left our bedroom door open so the shih Tzu left his mark all over, (the only room in the house he does this too) and then I got logged back on the computer to work my own cases and was assigned 4 more that had to be done before the system interfaces with the state at 8 pm. I really wanted to cry. I remembered HALT. I was hungry nothing besides a protein bar, I was and still am tired, I couldn't remember L - so I just labeled that lousy mood because it was true and then A- I was angry, I was angry about my phone, my whole life is in that phone, and I wont get a new one until tomorrow, I was angry at AH because the excuse just seemed so lame, I was angry at the dr because he did not have the reports needed for this appointment, which was a co pay and a trip for nothing, and I was angry that the members of the household were so disrespectful and could not put a single dish in the dishwasher. AH said he was sorry about the bedroom door, I mentioned something about alcoholic dementia, grabbed the apples cheese peanut butter and a glass of water and locked myself in my office until my work was done, about 830. Walked past the dirty dishes and took a nice bubble bath Tomorrow is another day. I came close to losing my s*** a few times but I did not. No one starved, everyone survived, the presents in my room were picked up....not to my liking but oh well he has to sleep in their too.
If that doesn't sound like sooo much acceptance I don't know what does. Acceptance is the solution to all of our problems Dr. Paul told me on Page 449 of the AA Big Book and lo and behold it proved to be true even after years of working it. Thanks for the acceptance share fooled...you're doing great. ((((hugs))))
Today is a new day and re reading that I can see the acceptance, at the time of the share I was more impressed that I remembered HALT and took care of myself and acknowledged my anger before I became a lunatic...which impressed me. Thanks for pointing that out, I am always the first one to think I am doing horribly.
Great share Fooled Acceptance of life on life's terms really was the key to my recovery journey. Glad that you keep coming back and remembering the tools.
(((Fooled))) - grace and dignity is what I heard. So sorry about your phone - that is just such an important tool in my life - I too would be frustrated beyond frustration....
Glad you get another one today - you can start all over again.....Acceptance is a daily tool for me. And yes - it's all about progress and not perfection.
My hope for you is that today is a great day and you feel the support we all send you!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Fooled you did great!! I think we can all identify with those days you want to lose your ****. But you didn't. You recognized you were not in a state of mind to address any of those things and you took care of yourself. You HALTed did your work and took a bubble bath. You are my HERO! That is a fantastic story. And it is amazing how people manage to sort things out in their own way isn't it? I always find these kinds of incidents force me to take my hands off others in my life and I often end up seeing how capable they really are. Thanks for sharing.
(((Fooled))) Agreed... Wonderful Share in Acceptance ;) and Halt "Hungry, Angry, "Lonely" & Tired... but I have to Say... Lousy I Like as well :) because I Struggle with Admitting Loneliness at times... :) WELL Worked Program...
I Have to admit I Got a Chuckle out of the Phone thing, Not because I Didn't understand your Frustrations, but Because I have been Anti-Phone for as Long as I Can Remember, when I HAD to have a Cell phone for Work, and Keeping up with my Teenage Son I was TICKED... I Answer a Phone for Living and I HATE Phones...lol I Feel at times it is the Weight that Drags me Down the Longest, because it Makes me Easy Access for Others... and in My Family that is Risky Business to say the Least...
When I Came to Al-Anon I was still using the "Unfansy" Phones, I Could barely Call out on the thing, and Someone once Said... "Well if it bothers you so Much? Why not just Shut it Off after Work & your Sons Home?" Well Why didn't I Think that was an Option Before? lol Still to this Day, even with the Upgraded Phone... My Ringer Remains on Silent...When I Want & Or Have time to Deal with those Outside my Everyday Needs I Look at it, If Not, Well.... Maybe tomorrow ;) Al-Anon Gave me that... Funny how Distorted My Thinking Was and Something So Simple Could Simplify my Life and Give me Such Serenity...
You was a Trooper.. And Good for you for Walking past those Dishes... That Bath was Way more Important and Besides they wasn't going anywhere ;)
Thank you all for your support. Its hard to see any progress when you are in the midst of chaotic stress. I truly appreciate the words of encouragement. Unfortunately Friday wasn't much better as far as stressful however I did get my new phone. I did get all my work done by 5 pm, but I started at 6 am. But I was done by 5! Had a family meeting of sorts right after and explained again to the AH and the kids, who are old enough to fend for themselves if needed and proved it, that the first week of the month is very stressful for me work wise, our fabulous Governor Chris Christie makes everything happen on the first of the month. Every month. This is not new. I don't know why maybe so he can hit the 7-11 every day with the Donald the rest of the month. But I need to be treated gently that week, show some compassion, grow up, either get with the program go back to rehab or drink alone, but whatever it is moving forward, aside from a major crisis....death, tornado, etc, the first week of the month I am physically and emotionally unavailable, plan accordingly. I will not deliver forgotten gym clothes, make cupcakes for the baseball team, or listen to you whine about having no trust in your sponsor (which btw he was justified in as the sponsor is now in rehab) in other words handle your own crap. I then went across the street and got my fix from my obsession the now 3 month old addicted born boy my neighbor is fostering. The smell of Enfamil, Johnsons and Johnsons, the grunts and cuddles, was pure heaven.
