The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to this as well as new to Alnon. My fiancé is an alcoholic and he seems to be heading down an awful path right now. He is drinking and driving, he picks up our children half in the bag from school, he is lying about money and where is is during the day along with the mental abuse while drunk. I am so mad at him but yet so sad to see this amazing guy I met 4 years ago today literally killing himself with alcohol. He has tried AA before and it didn't last long. I think he fully believes he can't live without alcohol.
I am so torn because I love him and have seen the amazing man he is but I just don't know if I can watch him go down this path. It has never been this bad....
I am trying to be strong and trying to understand this is a disease but it is so hard to watch it unfold and be totally helpless.
I'm glad you've found Al-Anon and hope you have a good face-to-face meeting that you like.
I'm sorry to hear about your A's decline. It's worrying to hear that he's driving your children while drunk. That could have fatal consequences, as you know. I hope you have a way to get your children home another way. I found that it is dangerous to put an alcoholic in charge of kids. The alcoholic means well, but the alcoholism means he hardly knows what he's doing - we have to be the one who puts a stop to it, since he won't.
Take good care of yourself. Hope you'll keep coming back.
Welcome Smilingeyes, As Mattie indicated, alanon face to face meetings held in most communities will offer you new tools so as to help to restore your"smilingeyes" and give you hope and emotional support as you walk this road.
Please know you are not alone and there is hope.
Keep coming back.
Hi- I am new also. And also have been with him for 4 years. I finally found this board and it has been very helpful. I am starting to see things in a new light and I never thought I would. I am also still mad and sad, but just in the last 2 weeks of being on this board I have noticed that I handle things a bit different. Still have plenty of learning to do, but some things are becoming clearer. (
You have Surely landed in the Perfect Spot to Find Recovery thru this Journey... And you are Very Much NOT Alone... Many can tell your Very Story, and Since Getting to Al-Anon have Learned to Live Life, Me Included... You can get help and I Agree, A Local F2F Meeting will indeed Boost your Help in many Ways...
Coming here was a Great 1st Step... The Love & Support here is Amazing... This is a Cunning and baffling Disease, but thru Recovery we all can Live Better More Loving Lives...
Welcome to MIP Smilingeyes! Glad you found us and glad you shared.
Alcoholism is progressive so it s logical that you're seeing him worse than before. So sorry for the pain it's causing and the fear you have. It's a disease and is never cured, but can be arrested through recovery. AA is for the alcoholic and Al-Anon is for those of us affected by another's drinking.
We can find joy, hope and peace of mind in spite of what another is doing. This disease reaches beyond the A and has us in a reactive mode, doing many things and reacting in ways we would not typically do - our insanity from it.
I too encourage you to look for local meetings. If you can't find them or the schedule is not working well with life, there are 2 meetings here each day - check to the top left for the schedule and the link to the meeting room.
You are not alone and we're all just a post away! Keep coming back and know that you can recover and be OK!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Glad your here and getting help. Alanon will give you tools that will make life better for everyone. Your children are at risk if he is drinking and driving. Its your responsibility to put a stop to that.
I'm pretty new to this, too. I agree that you should find another way to get the kids home from school. My boyfriend's drinking didn't bother me until the day I loaned him my car and he was drunk when he picked me up from work. That's when I saw it as a problem. So, now I won't trust him with my car again. He hasn't had a drink since that day and he says he's done. I really hope he is. He's never made that promise before.
It seems that you can't trust him with getting your kids home safely. So, maybe you should remove that responsibility from him.
My A still to this day, after rehab, thousands of dollars in fines paid, loss of license for almost 10 years, with every "slip" thinks its okay to drive his new truck across the Delaware Memorial Bridge after drinking "just a few beers" No way he could blow a .08 or less That is why the truck has my name no where connected to it. Not on the title, not on the loan, not on the insurance. The thought process behind this disease is mind blowing
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