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It takes a lot to get me mad. Right now, I'm furious.
I mentioned that I live in a very small town, right? I have a friend who works in the HR department at Wal*Mart. I asked him if he could tell me why J was fired. He told me confidentially and I can never prove that he said it and he could get into trouble for telling me, so I can't take this any further.
A girl - he either could not or would not tell me her name - accused J of sexual harassment. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the allegations are false. Not even an inkling. I know he wouldn't do anything like that. My friend told me that management doesn't necessarily believe it, but their policy is to suspend with pay pending termination from the home office. J told me that he was going to be paid for the full day yesterday even though he only worked half of it and paid for today.
I don't know whether I should tell him or not. It's not a matter of trust - he won't tell anyone if I ask him not to. I don't want him to be hurt. On the other hand, if he has any doubts about me believing that it isn't his fault, this would relieve those doubts. Also, I don't feel right keeping this from him. Not sure what to do.
Another reason for keeping the focus on ourselves and minding our own business. I have feeling he already knows the reason for his suspension as this is a very vague charge and could be caused by any number of events. I believe that he is protecting you from the unfounded charges and since this is his business, I would allow him to resolve it.
He didn't know. The friend that I talked to told me that he wasn't being told to "protect her." Apparently that is policy. They can't tell him because he might get angry and retaliate against her. Telling him would put her in danger.
This isn't the first time she's messed with my life. She used to tell my ex-husband about all of my purchases and he would harass me about them. I couldn't buy new lipstick without him sending me a message asking me who I was whoring around for this time. That stopped when I called management and complained.
She also tried to get me fired from my job. Fortunately, my boss knows me and respects me. He called me into his office, laughing, and said, "Someone claiming to be your sister just called me to give me a heads up about your drug problem. So, please enjoy your drugs and get back to work." Yeah, his reaction was funny, but it could have caused problems. I don't know how to deal with her. I'm afraid she isn't going to stop. She hasn't yet. And we both have enough to deal with at the moment without her causing more trouble.
If this is the case can you contact HR and explain your experience ?If not you can both contact a lawyer and proceed through the legal system.
Stay in the moment and in the day pray about it and then decide on the next right action
Thanks. I think I should talk to him first, though. Like you said, it is his business and his decision. I won't push him either way, but I think he does deserve to know the truth.
This is coming from someone that has justified jumping in to drama in the past for my AH many many times. FYI: My life improved tremendously when I started minding my own business and letting the cards fall where they may with regards to the AH and his problems.... its not my problem and he is an adult and he can handle it. My AH had a similar problem many years ago. It was not my problem, it was his. Now I wonder what the circumstances really were. I am very thankful I found al-anon!!
I was a manager in MO (Live in KS) and had a situation similar - allegations of harassment. Our company policy was to counsel and document first offense, suspension for second offense and dismissal for 3rd offense. Keep in mind that sexual harassment is very loosely defined in the course of the law and the company has to err on the side of protection/preservation.
Having said this, each company makes their own rules based on federal guidelines. In MO, the accused basically has no rights unless one chooses to file a lawsuit. Each time, warning or termination, we did tell the employee what the issue was, but not who. <<< This was required by Corporate HR.
Our program suggests we stay focused on ourselves. I also have jumped in guns blazing to defend my qualifiers to end up with egg on my face and a sour taste in my mouth. I have learned to not seek information out that will affect my serenity - I only need to worry about my truth, not another person's.
I too believe he already knows the truth and if he doesn't, he should be chasing it, not you. Just my thoughts...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
He doesn't stand up for himself. Never has. I probably shouldn't have asked my friend about it, but I did. I also specifically asked him if J had been told why he was being fired and he told me that he hadn't. He said they didn't have to give him any reason because of that will to work thing or whatever it is. I saw the contract that J signed which stated he could be terminated at any time and he did not have to be given a reason.
I did tell him. He was shocked. He doesn't want to pursue anything. He said he wouldn't be able to afford a lawyer. Which is true. He just wants to move on from it. He said, "I really messed up earlier this week and I still have my daughter and my girlfriend. I can't ask for much more than that."
He would have told me if that had been their reasoning. He knows that I have no worries about him cheating on me. He's also very respectful of women. He doesn't tell sexist jokes or make lewd statements or call women anything but their names. Except for me. I'm angelface.
I'm just upset that this girl continues to cause problems for me. And now he's caught in the crossfire. But, there really isn't anything that I can do. I already went to the courthouse to ask about a restraining order and they said I have no physical proof and she hasn't threatened me physically. I hate feeling helpless.
