The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The solution to obsessiveness is to learn to detach with love. Detaching with love doesnt mean that you stop loving the other person. It means that you make a decision to back up and stop putting all of your time and energy focusing on someone else. It means not allowing the drama of someone elses addiction to destroy your life.
Its a slow process that will require effort, patience and dedication. In Al-Anon, as in other 12-step programs, you can learn to face life one day at a time. You start to practice self-love a little at a time.
As you learn to detach, you learn to allow others to be themselves. You allow them to make their own choices and live their own lives, and you save your energy to work on building your life and a sense of self-love.
You continue to love the addict or alcoholic, but you dont let him or her destroy you. Loving the other person doesnt mean you have to fix or rescue them. You can grow in acceptance that changing or controlling another person is impossible. And its OK.
You dont have to save anyone else. The people you love have the right and the responsibility to live their own lives. You have the right and the responsibility to live yours
Any lessons on Detaching are mine to have and use Lin and this one is really good and practiced. We can move on and forward without stopping by accident and getting involved where we are not necessary. Detach!!! stop playing God. LOL sooo nice to know and understand. ((((hugs))))
Great share and lovely summary. I agree - lessons on detaching are wanted and needed each day for me. It's hard to love from across the street at times, but my serenity appears better when I am able to do this, even if it's just a visual in my brain!
Thanks for sharing! (((hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
One of the first tools and best tools I learned that freed me from the misery of codependency and dysfunctional relationships within my family and within me. Allowing another human the dignity of their own proper and natural consequences with control manipulation and enabling from me. It a a win win x
