The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last night my teen son who binge drinks on weekends with his friends and I can only estimate from what I've seen smokes weed 2-4 times a week came home after school and work and announced that he is probably going to buy a car tomorrow ( which is now today)! He only has his G1 driver license (equivalent to the beginners license which means he can't drive without a 5 or more years fully licensed driver in the car until he gets his G2 license). To me it makes more sense to wait until he gets his G2 license but he wants a car "now!" Of course I am not paying for it for several reasons--- I'm a single working mom so my money goes to keeping roof over our heads, and I wouldn't buy him a car when I know he binge drinks and smokes weed anyway. His plan is to park this car with no plates in my driveway then when he gets his G1 will insure and plate it. He works quite a good number of hours after school so has been saving money for a car which I give him credit for but to me him having a car right now while he drinks with his friends and smokes weed is my worst nightmare! Also I asked him if this car is safetied to which he said he didn't know then added " if it's not I'm not paying to get that done!" Another OMG for me to worry about! I admit I am hoping this car is already sold by the time he looks into it today after school although I didn't tell him that of course. Just trying to let go and let God as well as live and let live.
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
My thought is that while teenagers are dependent on us and living under roof, we are entitled to some boundaries. I think buying a car would be one of them, if it were my son and he was under 18. Eighteen or over, they are more adults. So just to say that it's not inevitable that you have to go along with his plans. I also wonder if he has factored in the cost of insurance. Take good care of yourself.
Thanks for all the prayers, support and encouragement. That along with HP, some common sense, and an earth angel mechanic obviously convinced him to not purchase that car! He has obviously been observing some common sense actions over the years because he took the car to a mechanic to get it checked out ( I have always done that any time I've purchased a car and have drummed that into my son over the years for future reference which obviously took). The mechanic told him it wasn't worth the price, too much wrong with it so my son listened to his expertise and didn't purchase the car! Sigh of relief on my part!
You "let go and let God" and he took care of it. I totally understand how hard it is to let go when you think it's going to be a train wreck. However, I have found if I stay out of things God handles things much better.
