I feel about my ah the way you do about yours. Good for you that you found Al-anon and are getting help for yourself. It took me a lot longer to figure out I couldn't handle the situation on my own. I didn't realize how effected I had been by it all. I alter the way I behave in so many situations because I anticipate the roller coaster. I thought I had "handled it" by the things I had been doing but it was always growing worse. I always ended up hurt because I never realized the things I did to outsmart or overcome his disease were never going to work. I was powerless against this disease but thought only he was powerless over alcohol. I'm new here too but this and therapy are helping me. I still love my husband very much. He is in recovery and it may work or it may not but I will be okay no matter which because I, for maybe the first time in 18 years of our life together, am taking care of myself. I might still have what feel like a million things to do each day but now I have a million plus one more and I'm toward the very top of that list. I have bad days and days where it all feels like too much and more than I can stand but I'm developing tools, relying on my hp, and looking inside of myself and finding more peace then ever. I wish you strength and patience with yourself on your journey. I'm sorry you are facing this reality. You are not alone. ((hugs)).

-- Edited by sunmustshine on Thursday 31st of March 2016 12:30:03 AM

Jilld Welcome to Miracles in Progress. I am pleased that you had the courage to reach out for help and share with such honesty. I can readily identify with your experience and remember that once my father was visiting and we were all siting down for breakfast and my hubby came out- sat down and instead of having coffee, he opened a beer and chatted with everyone. When he left Dad,( a heavy drinker himself ) said "Do not you know anyone who has alcohol for breakfast has a serious problem?"

Of coarse I did but the only tool I had was "denial and pretend which I used all the time. When the pain of living with the disease became too great I too reached out for help, to al anon and am so pleased that I did. It saved my sanity and life

Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive disease over which we are powerless . It can be arrested but never cured. It affects not only the person who drinks but the entire family- so that everyone needs a recovery program. AA is an effective program for those who drink and alanon has been founded to help family members.

Face to face meetings are held in most communities and the hot line number is in the white pages
Developing new tool to live by, while receiving the support of like minded members ,is a lovely gift to give yourself.

Please search out meetings and keep coming back

Thank you hotrod and iamhere. I feel stronger already just knowing hugs are just a post away!