The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm posting this a little early because it's Monday night here and I might not get a chance later on.
Today's c2c speaks of the pain of trying to hold onto something.
It suggests that when we trust our HP to give us what we need, we can let go instead and look forward, and our hands become free for new and wonderful things, we find new energy and we can see new opportunities that we couldn't see before.
It suggests that before we complain about our suffering, we should first examine ourselves because we might find that by letting go of the hurt we are holding on to, much of it can be alleviated.
The reminder is that our HP cannot give us much if our hands are full holding on to problems and resentments. It reminds us to let go and let HP.
The quote is from "As we understand" "All I had to do was become the least bit willing to open my clenched fist a tiny, grudging bit and miracles happened. That's God as I understand him today".
***
This reading speaks volumes to me. I had no idea how tightly I was holding on to my pain and especially my resentment and self pity until I started to learn to let it go. I used to say that I didn't remember ever feeling happy or anxiety-free, and sadly, that was actually true. I had spent a good 37-38 years of life holding on so tightly to pain, fear and especially the CERTAINTY that everything was going to go wrong tomorrow and it would be because of ME, that I cannot recall any moments of peace or happiness. That's pretty awful, isn't it? I was in a constant state of anxiety. I used to say there was just something wring with me; my anxiety/depression were so extreme that it was just the way it was, I "couldn't" feel happy and didn't understand what it was. (But note, I was absolutely sure it was because there was something 'wrong" with me).
Funny how when I began al-anon in earnest I started to experience these little moments of peace and contentment, and found them amazing; they were literally brand new to me. They happened more and more often and now, they're just normal, i'd say I'm happy about 50% of the time which is pretty awesome really. And the bad times pass more quickly and even feel...well, productive...when I use them to practice letting go. After years of trying different methods to try to "feel better", I could never have imagined that learning to let go could make such an incredible difference!! Amazing stuff. I'm glad i know now and can pass this vitally important tool along to my daughter.
-- Edited by missmeliss on Monday 28th of March 2016 03:37:05 AM
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Oh what a wonderful reading. And your reflections on how it works in your life is so helpful and inspiring.
I keep thinking I am letting go, but I am actually still obsessing. I love the "clenched fist" comment. Like having a rubber band on my finger to remember something, I can actually clench, then unclench my fist when I find myself holding on.
Thanks for sharing your ESH today Ms.M. I can so relate.
In the beginning of my journey I needed to be in excruciating pain before I could consider "Letting go " and Letting God. When I did I was surprised by the feeling of peace that entered in place of the pain. Watching the problem dissolve or work itself out in a manner I had not envisioned taught me that I did not know it all and the I needed to keep an open mind on situations, and trust the process.
I also must say I hated change and wanted life to continue unchanged forever. The reality of life is that if I am truly living ,learningand growing, life will always be changing. With alanon tools i can face all changes with courage, serenity and wisdom
Let go and Let God and Keep an open mind are now my favorite tools,
Thanks MissMel for the service, the daily and your ESH! I too came here with a broken heart, a broken spirit and a distorted way of living, thinking, obsessing and controlling. Letting go was a foreign concept and at times, I felt I had not only clenched fists, but tight grip with my teeth!!!
Learning how to let go of the outcomes, results, control and negative thinking was a process for me. I didn't get the way I was overnight, and I couldn't get well overnight either. The loving support of Al-Anon folks who came before me showed me that it was all about progress, little by little by little and that perfection was no longer my goal - EVER!
I am very grateful for Al-Anon's way of living. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin and no longer dwell, obsess or get stuck in a cycle of exhausting chaos/drama in my own mind. I too hated change Betty, now I am more open to it when it looms on the horizon. My fear of change has slowly changed to an anticipation of change and while I am still fearful at times, I don't project the worse case scenario any more.
Lovely thread - make it a great day (((MIP)))!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Love all these shares. I found changing and growing Very hard.
I grew up in dysfunction got better after detaching,Therapy and
moving away. Then i married and life seemed good and i healed
much More and was Living a normal seeming life.
I was not willing to face my life when things started going crazy.
I wanted it to stay the Same and predictable. Not possible anymore,
i had to get out Of the way and move on and get healthy myself.
I am not his keeper, i can not fix him only myself, he did not
Want my or appreciate my help. He wanted his own path and
His Journey without me.
None of it is easy to face or deal with. You just have to save
And help yourself to have a healthy whole life with your HP
Holding your hand giving you courage, strength and hope
For better days ahead.
