The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for March 26, speaks about the defects of "perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis." It points out that these " 3 Ps", are three of the worst effects of alcoholism upon our lives.
It goes on to say that many of us have a tendency to spend our time waiting for the past to change and then the rest of our life, getting all the kinks ironed out before actually living.
This is a way of avoiding taking action and doing anything badly and has prevented us from doing some of the things we enjoy the most.
The reading points out that if we are unwilling to perform a task badly, we cannot expect to make progress toward learning to do it well. The only task that we can pretend to perform perfectly is the one that we have left entirely un done. Wow that is an interesting observation
Al-Anon encourages us to take risks and to think of life, not as a command performance, but as a continuing series of experiments from which we learn about living.
The quote is from James Russell Lowell; "all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.".
I am always struck by the wisdom of this page, Love when it points out that the only action that we can perform perfectly is the one that was left undone. I can relate completely to that sentiment. Many times, before program I would look at a work of art or poem or a piece of literature and arrogantly say I can do better--- never attempting to take the risk to do it. Thanks to Al-Anon I have the courage now to take actions and let go of the results. I also wanted to freeze days so that I could relive them over and over Alanon has given me tools to accept that life is for learning and that by living life on life's terms provides me with many great gifts as well as challenges.
Thank you, Betty. As a young child I saw an Olympic skater on our little black and white TV. I told my dad I could do that. He said OK let me see you. So in my stocking feet (no skates or ice) I tried to move like the athlete. Soon my bum hit the floor. Dad told me to appreciate the lady on TV, think I can do it, and then work as hard as she did to make it happen. Hmmmm harder than it looked.
As I read the morning's page, I also thought my previous thinking has morphed in a large part by gratitude. Being thankful for any of the many miracles in progress throughout my day, I can see the beauty in the effort, the dignity in the trying and the pleasure among imperfect beings. That whole barrier is gone. It used to separate the old me (underlying unspoken knowledge I wasn't as good as ____) and anyone else. Working the steps with my sage of a sponsor has allowed me to internalize I'm better than I thought. I love this new "secret" about me.
Thank you Betty for today's reading and your ESH! Before I got here, I was a huge perfectionist. That lead to never procrastinating and always striving for appearances. As I began the program and the chaos and drama was still flying around, I stopped worrying about perfect and focused on survival and peace. I became a procrastinator and now I have to focus on balance.
I am having a day that has been different than planned so am distracted. I know deep down that I am worthy of all that I have been given, but today has been a bitter slap in the face. I'm working on acceptance for all those things I am powerless over, but am grateful I know how to get to the other side.
Thank you for your service!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
