I think many recovering As find they cravy sweets. My husband never used to eat desert or candy before he stopped drinking. Now he has desert almost every night and loves gummy bears, he could go through a couple of bags in one sitting. They do say to have sweets in the house (jolly ranchers, etc) to substitute other cravings.

What I had heard while in rehab years and years ago is that Alcohol converts or metabolizes into sugars in the body/blood. It's very normal for an alcoholic to crave sugar when they stop drinking. I don't know if they told us that to have us eat (we were all young, thin and in need of some pounds) or if it's true.

I still crave sugar to this day.....but I enjoyed sugar before I got sober too!!!

The doctor seems to work on a very different model from those in the U.S. and U.K.  The model we work on is that the A is responsible for his own life, and that doing things that he can do for himself is enabling and infantilizing.  This doctor seems to be working from a point of view that you are responsible for keeping him supported, fed, etc. etc.  I am surprised by that.  Parts of these two models are contradictory.  If you are going to be the one to keep him going in life, it's going to be a never-ending job.  I worry about the burden of believing that that's your responsibility.

Mattie, Jerry I agree totally. Doctors do teach us to let them control their life. But, they tell us to steer and course-correct for a while. And that's to take care of his instant self-destructing spree.

I can feel the pain of the burden too. I'm pretty tired, but happy for what i have today. I've progressed from feeling and living in sheer terror to mainly losing time and money (which I have decided to spend a bit). Sooner or later, I will withdraw a lot more. I'm doing this because there is no way that he will go to AA meetings without a slight pressure at least (sometimes more is required). Yes, I will keep your advice in mind and try to make him as independent as possible.

-- Edited by manas on Friday 25th of March 2016 12:27:35 AM

Sure, let me try this. I was thinking of phasing in "independence". He's "agreed" to take up chores and responsibilities in general. He doesn't trouble me much, except that he is hyper restless as soon as he wakes up he needs food, ice cream and my time. Its 95% better than 3 months back. I'm not complaining yet, but I need to be careful, I agree. Better earlier than later.

One thing though, doctors talk exactly your language. I'm probably the weak link.

 

-- Edited by manas on Friday 25th of March 2016 10:23:12 AM

As others have already mentioned it the breakdown of alcohol is sugar based so it's completely normal to crave sweets when stopping. My XAH did that as well and he was just very obsessive compulsive with his behavior in general. There was never a middle ground it was all or nothing and he's still like that to this day. The thing about an addictive personality/brain is that compulsiveness will flip to something else in a heart beat. I hate to make to generalization of addict behavior however much of the time there is another addiction that is also following the first. My XAH would obsess over exercise, diet (he binged there as well), vitamins (if one was good 10 were better), pills. I lost count.

What helped me keep my sanity was just let him do him and let me be me. We did not stay together and for me that was the best ending to that particular story. During that time alanon helped me find the answers that I needed in order to move forward with my own life. It really hasn't been easy all of the time and I value those lessons.

I do have a girlfriend who does not have an addictive brain .. I do believe it runs in her family. She actually did a lot of drugs and was actually doing crack (never heroin or meth). One day she just decided she was done and that was that .. interestingly enough she married an alcoholic/drug addict and to this day can not wrap her brain around the fact her X is not wired the same way she is in terms of if I did what she did in terms of drugs I would so be a crack whore and probably dead. He just went back into prison for violating his probation and there is a good chance he will not see the outside of those walls until he dies. It's the whole he's used up all of his chances outside. To this day she has not done drugs again, she is incredibly intelligent (MENSA type of smarts getting her MBA at the moment), it's very interesting to me though that she understands the medical physical sides of addiction she doesn't understand the emotional/mental side of things.

Anyway, you aren't alone. Learning about the disease is a good thing however just be sure you stay on the side of the street. Know your boundaries and what you feel comfortable with and so on.

Hugs S :)