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OK, it's been a full moon kinda day and that's a for sure.
Earlier, daughter decided she didn't want to come to the gym/pool and so i decided to leave her at home with the dog in charge and take myself there for a "quick swim". So I rushed through my swim, and left while it was still light. It's been a crappy day; I thought a swim and 10 minutes in the sauna might be 'cleansing". Ha!!!!
Now the gym is on the bad side of town, which doesn't usually bother me as I just drive there and back and don't have any need to concern myself with the goings on in the neighbourhood around me. But tonight a group of young girls (and I mean really young, maybe 8-11) flagged down my car and begged me to call the police... one girl was holding a phone that was in pieces and told me a 'lady attacked them in the park and smashed her phone". So I pulled over and called the police thinking oh dear, some meth-crazed woman is attacking kids...we can't have that.
So the police-woman asked me to remain where i was and asked me a million questions that I couldn't answer because as I told her over and over, I hadn't witnessed the incident, the children had reported it to me after the fact. Nonetheless she continued to ask me "what was the attacker wearing, did you get a look at her face, did she leave on foot or in a car " (I was getting really cross by this stage). I informed her that I would not be able to remain at the scene indefinitely and she said 'but what if the attacker comes back' and then one of the girls started wailing 'what if they come back?" and I thought hang on a minute, what am I going to do, really, if this person comes back? How am i going to defend this group of kids from some psychotic drug crazed woman if she does in fact come back?? And then the oldest child informed me it was not a lady but "a whole gang of people"...and I started to smell a rat.
The police lady told me the police would be there "as soon as they could". I had told her my own child was waiting at home for me and i asked her what she suggested i do as, i did not want to leave a group of vulnerable children on the street, but also needed to get home to my own child and also had no real idea what I could do in the event a crowd of crazy child-attackers really did turn up. She just kept saying 'keep yourself safe" and 'try to stay at the scene" over and over which helped not at all, thanks police lady.
I then started thinking with my rational brain and asked the girls where they lived and how far away the closest one's home was. She pointed across the street. (Huh? So you were at the park and a gang of people attacked you and smashed your phone so you started walking the streets looking for someone to flag down to ask them to call the police...instead of going home or to a neighbour....). then another of the girls pointed to a bunch of kids at the park and said 'that's them, they're the ones who attacked us". (Oh good grief, it was just a bunch of other kids). An older girl appeared and seemed keen to get rid of me...she told me she would escort them home and "it's fine now". I told her that after being asked to call the police I was now obliged to see them to a safe place and that I would watch as they walked to the house. She humored me and I noted the address.
At this point one of the girls- one whom I am sorry, I am always an advocate of believing children no matter what but I'd thought from the start she was laying it on far too thick- asked me, horrified "you're going? But what are you going to do about our phone?" and it occurred to me that the entire drama might have been concocted with the end result being, they thought this would somehow result in me giving them money or buying them a phone or something. I don't know, maybe I'm being horrible, maybe they were genuine and those other kids had broken the phone and pushed them around as they claimed, still, my sense all told me I was being scammed and I was really agitated and desperate to get out of there to be honest.
Once away I contacted the police again and told them the address I had left the children at which was, according to the older girl, her home, and left it at that.
About half an hour later a cop called me to say he had just arrived at the house and there were no children there nor did any children live there and i told him that i had at first been concerned for the kids safety but then as their story ceased making sense and they were choosing to roam the streets instead of returning to their home nearby I had needed to get home to my ow child and he had sounded unsurprised because, lets face it, it's just that kind of neighbourhood.
Anyway the situation is what it is, what bothers me is how angry and helpless I felt. No options made sense. if their story had been legitimate and a gang of drug crazed people willing to attack children was roaming the street, standing around in the street waiting didn't make sense. Putting the kids in my car and taking them to the police station didnt make sense because I couldn't work out if they were even being truthful and you can't just take off with a bunch of kids who have a home nearbye, I didnt want to go to the house and knock on the door because I was alarmed and concerned that they were in fact running some sort of scam on me. It's a bad place, lots of recent shootings, I just did NOT want to be there nor put myself in a vulnerable position.
Anyway what would anyone else have done?
I got home and daughter was angry and pouty that I had been gone so long, then my friend decided to drunk call me (OMG I've never heard her so drunk) and now I'm just tired and angry with myself that i didn't have a better idea of how to handle that situation, and still don't. I wasn't super friendly to the children but it doesn't make sense to me for young kids to roam the streets and have no adults nearbye or available to help, and if they were in trouble why not go to their house or a neighbour??? I think I did everything that it made sense to do. How is it logical to stay waiting in the street for possibly hours for the police to come if they have been attacked? Aren't they safer going home and then contacting authorities? Why flag down a stranger and ask them to call the police? I still can't make any sense of it to be honest. And it's really bugging me.
I do not like today
-- Edited by missmeliss on Wednesday 23rd of March 2016 07:49:38 AM
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I am so sorry for my own reaction - when I got to "I do not like today" I actually laughed! But you are so good about 1) laying it out there and 2) acknowledging the yuckiness, and 2) simplifying it into one short sentence "I do not like today".
I know that this was a horrible situation for you - but the end result was simply that you did not like it.
You have taught me a valuable lesson, missmelis. If I am able to take a very complex situation that I have no control over, and sum it up by saying how I feel, I am on my way to letting it go. You did what you could. Thank you.
I think you did the right thing Melly. You have to be careful with kids, taking them somewhere without parents' permission can quickly land you in kidnapping charges, if the police would have finally come and you would have moved them, or taken them to the police station, they could change their whole story around and make you to be the bad person for whatever capricious reason they might have. I think you are likely right, someone was trying to scam you and take advantage of your good nature. It's good that your good nature can be overruled by your intuition and head sometimes, it makes a good balance.
Thanks
I did wait until they seemingly went into the house they had nominated as theirs, but they obviously just hid on the porch or something until I left.
However as they were walking there they kept looking back to the park where their so called 'attackers" were as if they were waiting for me to go away so they could go back there as they hadn't gotten whatever it was they wanted from me.
Every time i drive past that park the police are there; it's obviously a congregation place for people to crash their crazy trains. I think it's time for me to make a date with google maps and figure a different route.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Even if the kids' story had been true, it doesn't make sense that they would have needed you to intervene. Why couldn't they go to their own homes? Whether their homes were the one they pointed out to you or somewhere else. I very much doubt a crazed person would have attacked them twice. Crazed people, in my experience, attack whoever is in front of them; they don't track random people down and attack them twice. So I think you are right, it doesn't pass the smell test.
We who are "helpers" by nature are especially vulnerable to these situations. I won't tell the story of the "homeless" people I tried to help (not homeless at all, as it turned out). I really do think it's the same aspect that makes us vulnerable to A's who cry, "But my life is so out of control, I need you to help me make it all work!"
Glad you got out of there. You had your wits about you.
I think you handled the situation with a great deal of grace and intelligence Good work Ms.M. I am happy there are peope like you in the world Keep on being you even if there are days you do not like.
Your story reminded me of once a drugged out neighbor knocked on my door , when i answered, he rushed in naked and hide under my dining table and was screaming about aliensin the wires. I called the police and they asked "Does he have a tempertature?" Un like you , I lost it and not too nicely explained that with an insane naked man hiding in my home i did not take his temp. They agreed to come and he then ran out of the apartment and the police arrived in time to capture him. Interesting world we live in.
Thanks for the validation guys. After sleeping on it, the absurdity is a lot clearer. I have worked out a different way to drive to the gym in future
Betty I am still giggling over your description and the bizarre suggestion that you take the crazy naked guy's temperature.
It's an interesting world indeed. (She says as the obscene shrieks and howls of the Lady over the Road flood through her window, accompanied by the enthusiastic yapping of the The Dog Guy's 9 (Yes, 9) Pomeranians. lol. Sometimes I wish the world didn't have to concentrate quite so much of it's interesting into this one street!!!!)
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Oh Melly.....I too think you handled yourself with grace and dignity....I am one who can get 'stuck' not knowing for sure what the best answer is at times, and I believe in trusting your gut and taking care of ourselves.....what a funky situation - all after your attempt to relax and enjoy some pool/sauna time....I am angry for you - I have been so jealous of your sauna dates.... (wink, wink)
Groups of teens in current times are a bit frightening as we just never know what value set they were raised with. (((hugs))) - just glad you got home safe and sound!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great solution. It appears you learned the lesson from the events and in deciding to chage your route the problem should be addressed. I decided to take time to look through the peek hole and make sure my visitors were wearing clothes.
That made me burst out laughing Betty, lol thanks, I needed a good chuckle
IAH, I'll spend an extra 5 minutes in the sauna tonight in your honor
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene