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I have had limited contact with my alcoholic sibling and my mother for a number of years. I needed boundaries to protect myself from the effects of his drinking (violence) and her enabling. In the course of 6 months, she has been admitted to a nursing home - quite elderly and with dementia. I am her POA and doing what needs to be done, including handling her finances. During the same period my sibling - living in another state - was admitted to the hospital with the DTs (unable to walk to the corner store to get alcohol - drinking buddy/roommate in jail). Sib had ammonia poisoning - plus accumulated other probs from 40 years of drinking. He survived, got transferred to a nursing home and then a medicaid facility for patients with mild dementia as they didn't know what else to do with him.
I know this because he and his friends have my phone number and leave messages. Recently, sibling "ran away" from the placement and returned to his former residence. He and his friends are now hounding me for "rent money" from my mother's accounts as she always met their requests with cash. I flatly said no, but did make arrangements for him to return to the placement. He refused. I can tell from the messages he leaves that he is drinking again. I can also tell, though, that his thnking is pretty distorted - beyond alcohol. I don't know what to do. I will not give him money but I am concerned for his welfare.
Is there any value in my calling Adult Protective Services in his state?
Welcome to MIP lastonestanding! Glad you found us and glad that you shared. I don't have any experience in this arena, but hope you are able to find local resources that could help him help himself. Keep coming back and prayers for your situation!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene