So I have been to one meeting and have now been doing reasearch which is how I came across this forum. I actually think that 1 meeting (so far) helped me this week.My spouse is a binge drinking alcoholic I guess. There are many times when we can get together with family or friends and he has a few and is fine. Sometimes he is good for a few weeks. Then he falls off the rails and all hell breaks loose. I suffer in silence and have not told my family although I did confide in a good friend this week and felt a weight lifted. After he binged last week and I went to a meeting we had a long ,great conversation. I layed everything on the table and he admits he has a drinking problem. I told him things had to change or he would have to move out. I know this wont happen overnight and it's a process so I will try and be patient. I understand I cannot control him now, or his drinking. I genuinely think he wants to stop, but can't. The sleepless nights of worry when he is out binging hopefully will be less painful. The pattern of turning off his phone, refusing my calls, falling into walls when he gets home,verbal abuse,manipulation...will this stop? I know I can't stop it, only he can. Time will tell whether we stay together. 

I will say that as I write this I have the awful butterflies in my stomach because he is out and probably drinking. I still fear what will happen later when he gets home, but I feel a little more balanced and prepared for now although I am not sure how I will feel when he arrives. I will continue going to meetings as I am committed to helping myself get better even if he does not.