Today's c2c is about pigeons.

Specifically, it's about how if you sit under a tree full of pigeons, it won't do you much good to get angry and shout at the pigeons if they poop on you, because that's what pigeons do. Instead, the writer notes, it's wisest to check the tree for pigeons before sitting under it.

Similarly, the reading points out, it doesn't make a great deal of sense to be around alcoholics and then become angry with them for doing what alcoholics do. Shouting, begging, crying, hiding keys or drinks etc won't cure alcoholism and is simply exhausting ourselves in an unwinnable battle. Instead, we can redirect the energy we have been putting into the fight into our al-anon recovery.

The reading reminds us that when we accept our powerlessness over our own illness, we also must surely see that we are powerless over the alcoholic's illness. When we know that we are powerless we can begin to heal.

The quote is from "How Can I Help My Children": "It stands to reason that a change in us will be a force for good that will help the entire family".

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When I was working my way through step 1 the first time I drew a similar analogy- that I felt like I was drowning in someone else's illness and trying to save myself by punching the flood waters and screaming at them to stop being so unfair.

What a tremendously freeing realisation it was, to discover that battling with someone else's illness was fruitless and unnecessary! Not only did I not have to do it any more, it was actually counter-productive and even harmful to both of us! This was a pretty huge contrast to the perception i had grown up with, which was that as the more 'responsible" one, it was my job to badger and harass the alcoholic into some semblance of normality. After all, I grew up watching the women in my family doing just exactly that. What a sad, exhausting waste of time. I'm so glad I don't have that job anymore!! My new job is focusing on me; it pays much better and it's a great deal more satisfying