The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for March 13 speaks about Step Seven. This is the Step where we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcoming". The word "humility" sometimes caused me to cringe as I read the step in the beginning. My sponsor explained that I can use the tools, prepare myself to change but I do not have the power to change myself
Being in serious unrelenting pain, I finally surrendered to the reality of this statement one evening and cried out, "if you exist-- Please help remove this pain." Falling asleep immediately thereafter, I woke up in the AM and the pain was gone. I will never forget this spiritual experience.
I must note that did not appear too humble in this request, but I was defeated, powerless and asked for help. I image, for my HP that was enough . The reading suggests that--- Desperation and pain can lead to humility. It did for me.
The Al-Anon tools of prayer, and mediation helped my future efforts as I was able to discover anew a willingness to follow my HP's guidance because I'm willing to learn from all of life lessons and not just the ones that hurt."
Quote Is from" Lois's Story": :Humbly means seeing myself in relation to my fellow man and God."
Reading that quote helped me to understand humility and today I can be humble without feeling less than.
Have a great Sunday I hope you remembered to adjust your clocks .
I've shared before that my first real spiritual experience in the program (and my first real certainty that there really WAS something hearing me) was similar to what this describes; I was miserable and in pain and mostly cold and lonely (it was the dead of winter). I begged for "if you're really there, please help" and suddenly I was just full of a warm glow, it was amazing. I drifted off to sleep and was woken by the phone...a lady from my daughter's school calling to invite me somewhere and no sooner had I hung up than another lady from the school called to invite me for coffee...since loneliness and isolation were (and still are) my kryptonite, making some social contacts and having reasons to get out amongst people was just exactly what I needed to break my hermit-like behaviour.
I guess i wasn't working on step 7, I believe i was still on step 2 or 3 at the time but the end result was much the same, I felt that when I finally surrendered the help came instantly and it was incredible.I didnt get my partner suddenly sober and ready to build a future, which is whats I thought I wanted but instead tools to help me shed my isolation and start building a life for myself.
Brilliant!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Well, God is amazing, huh? I just accepted step six, being entirely ready to have God remove my defects of character. I'd been holding on for so long but last night, in my home, it was so bad. It was insane. I could see my character defects in the madness and how they don't serve me any longer, at all! I feel an intense readiness. this morning I woke up from very little sleep, feeling a humble need to ask God for help in all this mess. That I am completely broken. I'm defeated. I don't think I have anything left. I sure am a fighter. Humbly, I turn to my higher power for help now. The defects can't be willed away. I see them clearly and how they hurt me and I'm ready and willing to have them be released. I pray now for that release.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
