Step work,sponsor,huge amounts of reading cal reading,and Q&a lists everyday,has kept my sanity and living in today .My A/sis  that lives with me had a huge argument with her daughter over my A/s breaking into her daughters apartment ,which was WRONG ,I felt really bad for the daughter,but daughter has a healthy great bf that stepped in and told my A/sis she was Wrong and daughter called the police and was gonna take out papers on my sis but she ended up dropping them she said just because she was her mom and she didn't want her mom locked up,sis had lied to me saying for 2 days that her daughter was being mean and hateful and all this stuff to her which I didn't believe a word she was saying ,to make things even more complicated for me she tells me she gonna kill herself that she has no reason to live without her kids,that she either was gonna end her life or go inpatient ,had me upset,yes I kinda went into a jerk all over ,I don't need that ,I told her that only a coward would kill their self easy was out ,that it took a brave person to go get help ,real help,like inpatient help not out patient she knows she way past just going for out patient,but she continues to hold on anyway and do nothing once she geats her daughter back,it 

s like she makes a huge mess of things then wants to work hard to get it back like begging and pleading with daughter with apologies after apologies,it worked this time,and a/sis is all seeming high on relief again that she got her daughter back in good with her,but that's not enough nothing is enough ,,,enough is not enough with my A/ sis,I did take measures to call crises hotline but she done settled down by the time I got back home blaming everything her actions etc ,on missing taking her antidepressant cymbalta,I feel like I was doing the right thing but as for taking care of myself my emotions got all tore up and she never knew it,when I get emotional like that I can't read,or think for myself,I don't even know how to talk to this person,that's my sister,she don't drink,she takes Xanax which she gets 90 of full mg,and vitacan or loratabs 7.5 mg 120 all every mth,she has for the last 20 yrs ,her dr is out of state,I don't have a clue as to who he is .i rushed home the other day scared to death she would for something,I've had a close brother that committed suicide 12 yrs ago at age 37,on account of this dreadful desease called drugs and alcohol.i hate it,still on my mind of what my sis did,and knowing it won't be the last time either,she got 4 kids ,one that has turned their back on her completely her baby girl,and the rest tolarate  or block her at some point,yep this deasease has been running rampant through my people for 52 yrs I know I'm 52 and no telling how long before that I'm gonna say in my people it started. Way back generations ago and nobody ,nobody except me is doing anything about it just living it and in it,and it's progressive this deasease the progressiveness of it is what brought me to alanon so for that I am grateful for,cause I've learned a lot and still lots to learn,and I love knowledge ,since I e been working my recovery it's been been like it says I'm a miracle in progress ,I feel like I'm trying to crawl out of my old skin of bad habits into a new healthier skin of better newer ways of living and seeing life through a new set of eyes.its truely a miracle in my life ......thanks for listening and allowing me to vent about a/sis...........................HUGS...Lu