The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm so glad I found this board. I love reading the posts, and am truly inspired by the participants here and how their stories echo my own.
I was reading through another post today about Step One, and I found this step really easy, as I had pretty much given up when I got here. I found the step, at first, gave me almost a negative feeling, though. The "powerless"ness and "unmanageable"ness of it, struck me as almost 'kicking me while I was down'! Yeah, I know my life sucks, thanks for making me say it out loud :)
But a thought occurred to me today while reading the step again. I'm powerless OVER ALCOHOL, yes, I can't control other people, places or things. But I can control my reactions to them. Even though I might be powerless to control my AH, he is also POWERLESS to control me and my emotions. How many people out there have unhappy marriages without Alcoholics in their lives? It's easy to blame my problems and emotions on my AH, or alcohol in general, or on financial worries, or etc..... But at the end of the day, I decide if I'm going to blow up, laugh, or cry. And sometimes it's OK to be angry, or upset, or find something amusing or completely hilarious. So, I'm going to take back some of the power in my life, by acknowledging my emotions as valid, but also know that it's my decision to be sad or angry, so don't go blaming someone or something else for it.
Anyhow, sorry for the rambling, and I appreciate having a place to share my thoughts :) Thank you!
Wowie zowie, you got it!! It's a bit like a Zen thing, at first that step looks really stupid, like the "what is the sound of one hand clapping" question. But after you think about it for awhile, and roll around how it could apply to you, boom, you get it! There still is more to it, it's all a process, and you just now starting to learn, and will continue to learn, how powerlessness over certain things does make us understand better how much power we DO have over other things.
Hey Laurie - awareness gets us to the door and it's up to us to keep walking down the hall.....great job - keep an open mind and you will continue to have 'awareness moments' where you go - Aha!!!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
