The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello everyone. I am a mom with a 32 year old daughter who is an alcoholic and drug user. In the past 12 months she has literally lost everything. Her husband of 9 years, her house, her vehicle, her apartment, you name it she has lost it. She has been in a recovery house twice. She has and continues to put our family through hell. I am at my wits end and struggle with how to deal with it all, or not deal with it all. I certainly could use some guidance. I can't really put into words what this feels like. I cry every day and that has to stop too. I am helpless.
(((Ruby)) Welcome -- You are not alone. There are many here and in alanon face to face meetings who have experienced the dreadful pain of which you speak and who can offer support and understanding to you as you seek to learn how to recover from the effects of this disease.
I too have struggled with this disease in a child and your pain and suffering are completely understandable. I found support and compassion as well as new tools to live by in the face-to-face meetings of Al-Anon.
Alcoholism is a dreadful, chronic, progressive disease that can be arrested and never cured. We the family members are powerless over the disease as we did not cause it, cannot control it and cannot cure it. The best we can do is to learn new constructive tools to live by,in order to regain our sanity and still live with compassion and empathy.
I urge you to search out Al-Anon face-to-face meetings in your community and keep coming back here as there is hope and help
Welcome to MIP Ruby - so glad you found us and glad you found your courage to share. I am so sorry for your pain - I too have two children with this disease - you are not alone in your thoughts, feelings, place.
As Betty (hotrod) suggests, I found hope in Al-Anon and learned that this disease has very long arms. It's progressive for them, but devastating and crippling for friends and family members. It is a family disease and can cause insanity well beyond the qualifier.
The program will give you tools and support to use to find your peace and joy. We learn more about the disease, the diseased and our part. We learn to love from across the street when necessary and we learn how to recover from how the disease has affected us.
Keep coming back here - we're an online family! I also encourage you to look for local F2F (face-to-face) meetings as that will give you a local support group.
(((Hugs))) - you are not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Aloha Ruby and welcome to the family I relate to your post as it is very near how I talked out loud just before coming into Al-Anon. I said I was helpless and got corrected right away. They told me if I was willing to work "the program" I would find out I was powerless and not helpless. There is a big difference and I hope you stick around and follow the suggestions of face to face meeting and literature and sponsor and of course Higher Power and more so that you can have what we have...peace of mind and serenity some with an alcoholic in the family and many where it doesn't matter. Keep coming back please. ((((hugs))))
(((Ruby))) - let us know how it goes! Be kind to you today and be gentle with yourself - you deserve it.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome. I know where you are, Ive been on that road too and it is hell. I got recovery, I got into Alanon. I go to meetings, read about the disease and how to cope with it and I learned that I needed recovery and that I was insane from this disease. I got some sanity, I learned what I could and couldnt do, what truly helped and what didnt and my family situation has improved drastically. go to the Alanon website and search for a meeting near you, there will be a seat waiting on you and your life will get better and better.x
