I see I have to high expectations of everything around me and with me. This really hit home for me yesterday when I went and seen the doctor. I have been sick for a year now, nearly died once. I survived 2 intensive care stints and been off work for a year now. After leaving the hospital, after a month, I still knew there was something wrong in my body. I suffered in a lot of pain till November when finally I got day surgery and found I had an infection inside my stomach. Up till November, I begged and tried to get the doctors to help me and all I got was we ran tests and can find nothing wrong with you. I know there was something wrong. I know my body well. I finally begged and I mean beg this surgeon to put a camera inside my stomach and look. And sure enough infection inside me. I have been on two sets of antibiotics with some changes. The pain that was on my right side  that was so bad settled down. I went for more tests last week and since the pain on my right side had gone down, I was excited and thought, maybe I am getting better and I can go back to work. I expected the test I had to be clear and one more test to go and I can get the clear to go back to work. WRONG-the infection is still inside my stomach. I am now on stronger antibiotics. After taking this set of antibiotics, I have to go for testing again and make sure the infection is gone. If not, not sure what the next steps will be. I broke down and cried yesterday a few times, even in the doctors office. I see that it was my expectations that let me down. I expected to be well. I see that I have to high expectations. I have to learn to just not expect anything that way I can not be disappointed. I have work to do on expectations.

As well, the abf asked me to pick him up from work (5 hour drive one way) tomorrow. On Sunday, he was picked up by the police for sitting behind the wheel of his vehicle while intoxicated. He was charged. His license was suspended. Now he has to hire a lawyer. Not my problem, not my money. He still has his job. The car was just parked and his car got towed and impounded for a week. I made it very clear, I will only get you if your sober. If you drink, I will leave you in that town and under no circumstances will you drink in my car. If you do not like rules, find your own way home. I will be sticking to this boundary no matter what. I am so determined to have my sanity back and I will not allow this person to create further stress on me. I have enough to deal with. I am getting there, setting firm boundaries! I am learning!

Things to work on, Boundaries and expectations for today!

Thanks for listening!