The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading addresses knowing the difference between HP's will and my own.
It points out that struggling to choose one path over another steals our serenity from us. The writer suggests that a desperate urge to act is usually a sign that they are acting out their own will, and a calm certainty is a sign of HP's will instead of their own, but that the distinction isn't always so clear. When unsure, they suggest waiting or listening for guidance, asking for the wisdom of others or, making choices with willingness to adjust if more is revealed (as it almost always is).
The reminder is to remember that being uncertain is an opportunity, not a fault. Every situation contributes to our growth and, we don't need to know what that contribution will be, to acknowledge or benefit from it.
The quote is from Alfred Lord Tennyson, There lives more faith in honest doubt, Believe me, than in half the creeds".
I like the freedom this affords. Prior to al-anon spent most of my life agonising over decisions (that never, ever turned out the way I tried to imagine and "mind control" them to turn out. I could spend entire days obsessing over a particular decision (often not my decision anyway) and imagining the potential outcomes if I said this, or this, or THIS. Understanding that acting out my own will instead of leaving it to my HP led me to living life applying a combination of "let go and let HP" and, "do the next right thing". I feel confident each next right step will lead me to the outcome that will serve my best interest, eventually. This has created a great deal of space in my head for thinking about other, more meaningful things! (Like study, reading, calm meditating etc). What a gift!!
-- Edited by missmeliss on Wednesday 9th of March 2016 06:58:03 AM
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Dear Ms. M, Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this important concept ---( Distinguishing HP's will over my own will was often quite overwhelming )
I am so grateful that by working this program and reviewing this page often, I finally accepted the simple fact that when I am forcing my will, I feel confused and chaotic and when I am walking in HP's will, I usually feel confident and peaceful -even if I am unsure of outcomes.
Love the following thought from your post and agree completely:
MsM wrote
I feel confident each next right step will lead me to the outcome that will serve my best interest, eventually. This has created a great deal of space in my head for thinking about other, more meaningful things! (Like study, reading, calm meditating etc). What a gift.
Thank you MissMel for the daily and your service! I was a mess when I arrived and had been trying to fix everything and everyone. I honestly just did not consider that I could be the source of my own pain - I was blinded to the stark reality of my role. I also used to think that confusion and uncertainty were signs of weakness - after all, I was an adult...why did I agonize over decisions, issues, etc.
The program has given me a completely different way to think, be and do. I no longer have to be in charge or try to control. I can seek help from HP or others and make decisions necessary with my truth in my time frame. How empowering is that?
Lovely reading today - thanks for the ESH above me!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
