The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been with my partner for 3 years now. There have been many ups and downs with his drinking and drug use. He ended up in detox and was finally doing outpatient rehab, only for me to find out that he was lying about going to the therapies and meetings, the whole time. While he wasn't drinking at home when I was here, he wasn't sticking to his rehab plans, and was buying alcohol when he knew I wouldn't be here. I've finally had enough. I told him that I can't do it anymore. This is devastating to me, as I wanted to spend my life with him. I feel helpless. What I need advice on, is how to help my kids through. They are deeply attached to this person. Ages 9, 6 and 5. He is not their biological father, but my son calls him his 'best friend', and my girls are also very attached. He lived with us and built a life with us over three years...a good portion of their lives, thus far. It's been two days now and he's not been home and they keep asking where he is. I don't know how to go about this the best way for them, and would take any advice offered.
Thank you.
-- Edited by womanking on Tuesday 8th of March 2016 11:46:48 PM
There is literature on the literature tables at most face to face meetings and some of it is structured to children which will help you help them understand the disasters of this life threatening disease. Cartoon like pamphlet such as "What's Drunk Mama"?? is a good one that comes to mind. You can see if Alateen is available to your elder children which is the program worked by teens which is also a part of the Al-Anon Family Groups. Good luck and if you need more support here PM me as I was a Alateen sponsor for 6 years early in my recovery. (((((hugs)))))
I agree with Jerry's suggestions. I would also like to point out that by your attending alanon face to face meetings, and developing new constructive tools to live by they will be helped indirectly.
Changed attitudes (yours ) will hep them to learn how to accept life on life's terms with courage, and added wisdom.
I learned to live one day at a time not projecting to the future nor dwelling on the past,but facing issues honestly (with new tools)that I could walk through many issues that once confused me . T here is hope and help . Keep coming back.
I left my AH 2 years ago. We have one child together. the main thing I explained (and still do) to our child is that we had to leave for everyone's safety. I explained dad is ill and needs to get help. Even though your kids are young, I'm sure they have an idea of what's going on. Kids absorb more than we realize. They're a lot smarter than we give them credit for in my opinion. You've rescued them from chaos, in my opinion. Be proud. If it's safe, maybe they could still keep in touch with your partner on some level. Take care!
