The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been living with my A husband for three years and known him for four and a half years.We met while doing our undergraduate studies and I found out he was an alcoholic when we were still dating ,I thought my love for him would stop him from drinking.I did everything possible to stop him but how naïve I was.We now have a 2year old daughter.I have been through hell with him but still stayed with him hoping he would change.To cut the long story short, I found out Im expectant 7months ago, I wanted to get rid of the pregnancy but my mother and christian friends urged me not to.I went through prenatal depression because It weighed heavily on me, It was really hard for me, I considered suicide.Now seven months down the line I still really do not want to have this baby.I am scared of my children going through having an alcoholic father.I am still young(under 30) and I do not want to continue going through being anxious and scared, never at peace because he may relapse anytime ,I know I need to leave him for the sake of my sanity but what do I do about this pregnancy? I do not have the resources to take care of two children
I sincerely encourage you to seek some counseling for your feelings that you are going through and explore whatever options you feel would be best. I would also encourage you to go to the church and find out what resources are available to you. You need a safe place to explore your options and not be judged for whatever you are feeling. Knee jerk reactions usually lead to long term pain .. you are in such an awful place in terms of hormones, doubts and so on .. do find a safe place to talk and to me this is far more than just Alanon .. this is professional help required and based upon your situation you should be able to find a place that will do a sliding scale to get yourself some emotional footing.
No one can tell you what to do nor should they because no one is you and they do not have to live with whatever consequences present themselves. I will tell you that the God of my understanding has always provided for my kids and myself. I have 2 children and 3 years ago my yearly income was 9k and I was single and scared as hell. It's gotten better however I have had to make some difficult choices just in terms of knowing what was good for the kids and I. Every year things DO get better so it doesn't stay bad forever.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Hi LovingPeace Love your log on name There is hope and help available and it costs nothing!!!
Alcoholism is chronic, progressive fatal disease that can be arrested but never cured. AA is the recovery program for those who drink and Alanon for the family . I urge you to search out alanon face to face meetings in your community and attend. Alanon is an organization founded by the wife of the founder of AA when she discovered that she had developed many negative coping tools while living with the disease of alcoholism
.
I assure you that the new tools that you will be given will help you to live your life with serenity, joy , wisdom and courage. Keep coming back.
(((LovingPeace))) - welcome to MIP - so glad you joined and glad you found your courage to share. I am so sorry for the disease in your life and the affect it's having on you.
I too would encourage you to seek outside support. Alcoholism is a progressive disease that is never cured, only treated through recovery. It's also considered a family disease as it affects well beyond the drinker. Al-Anon will give you support from others who have experienced similar things and will give you tools to move forward in whatever direction you opt to go.
I too encourage you to keep coming back - you are not alone and we're usually just a post away!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I am glad you found us at MIP and know that face to face meetings helped me when I felt lost. Keep coming back here and liek someone above mentioned there are always healthy options. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Well at 7 months along it sounds like you are having this baby. If you can follow the suggestions above, continue with alanon, find a low cost counselor, Face to Face meetings are magical, get a sponsor, etc., there is so much help available you can't even imagine how much help is around for you. What I learned is that I could not control my A, but I am learning to control myself. Lyne
