The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading discusses Step 4, and how it brings about the awareness of our part in the disease. The writer shares that much of their behavior was extremely immature and then goes on to share a lovely list of what they consider mature behavior.
While the answer may be different for each of us, asking ourselves this question can certainly help us identify goals for recovery. Understanding more about our part can also help us better apply the Al-Anon program and tools as we seek to change this specific behavior.
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The list from the reading is a great list. I see myself in many of these and it certainly gives me reason to pause. I know now in recovery that when their is uncertainly swirling around me, I can pause and consider a mature response to any situation. I no longer have to join in at any level. I can use the Al-Anon tools and stay outside the fray. I can choose to speak my peace or not, as I know in my heart my truth.
This program can give you freedom from the bondage of this disease if/when we work it. Gratitude comes to mind for me today to know I have choices and can do and be a different person than I was before recovery.
Make it a great Thursday!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important reading IAH. I refer to this page often so as to check out the list of maturity items and see how have progressed. I am pleased to see that I have grown much since entering the program and am no longer afraid to look within and own my own issues and true motives because now I have the tools to change.
I'd not read this one before. It's gold!!
I love the changes in the way I deal with things (mostly) now. Pre al-anon so much of my behaviour was painfully immature and I spent a huge amount of time trying in even more immature ways to justify or cover up the immature behaviour with more immature behaviour!! Ugh!! (Blaming it on other people or circumstances. Or trying to make other people's poor behaviour seem bigger so mine wouldn't be noticed).
I guess I didn't WANT to behave like an angry or pitiful child all the time and felt so embarrassed by that but I simply hadn't learned any mature coping skills.
It really is a good list that the reading provides; I see so much of my own growth in there and I am grateful to realise it.
TFYS!!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Great stuff. This speaks to me because I often respond impulsively...must react...must defend.... I love having permission to pause, take a beat, think. I can and will be in control of what comes out of my mouth...or doesn't. I do not have to allow my triggers to be thrown, to react in an old way that no longer serves me or defines me.
I love this. Thank you IAH for your reflection.
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Kelly
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence...." Desiderata
