The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So many diff. Personalities going on at once ,sister is fine now after a nite of drama and chaos with daughter,she is running about acting and talking very positive things she is gonna do,which I've heard the wind blow before,and abf has retired to bed early afternoon when his car didn't sale and no money for his dope,sister evidently got her dope from neighbors do she is dancing about talking bla bla bla,I'm retired to bed and closed my door,sick of watching how this disease completely controls everything they do ,they talk,walk,and live it .24/7,soooo sad ,sook much more sad for me,I've got a busy day tomorrow ,so I'll have plenty to do,Polly stay in my bedroom taking care of business,and working more in my program,I stay more on here reading ,and working it than I do anything,just that I'm wanting it to hurry up and work on me,I'm so very tired,I should set myself time limits for everything,but it's hard to when your craving serenity,and knowledge,copying skills etc,I'm sure I'll slow down some sooner or later with my recovery ,as in work it 2 hrs a day instead of 15 hrs a day,just can't put it down right now got to have it,its not easy having 2 addicts living with you,active to.........hugs lu
Good on you. Recognising that you need it and immersing yourself in it is a great way to get started.
I suspect the more work you do on you, the less tolerance you will have for either of your qualifiers nonsense (and the less tolerance you'll have for needy, using folks in general).
You might find after a while, you really cant stand being surrounded by the negativity and you want to review your living situation. Immersing yourself in your step work will only make those sorts of decisions easier, and carrying them out more "doable".
Suggest getting out to a meeting and being around positive folk in some capacity!!!!!
You're doing great. yay
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Ty Mel,I've buried myself right here for the most part of my days,cause I feel like I'm needy of my recovery from it all ,the disease itself don't let up ,not a bit,in the addicts,or my own,so I have to bury myself into it for awhile as long as I can till I can get or start feeling the tension on me releasing some.....thanks...hugs lu
Thanks for the update LU. The more you can focus your attention on getting better, reciting the serenity prayer or a slogan the easier it will become. Today when I awaken I automatically recite the 3rd Step prayer followed by the sereniy prayer. It took years of concentrating on doing this for it to become a habit and one that is so important to my sanity. Keep on keeping on you are doing fine.
Its me again....listening to you talk about the two alcoholics and all their shenanigans. Still void about anything about you. I know nothing about you.
I know you are in a big struggle, I recognize it, because I've been there. I would be a miss if I enabled you. If I didn't at least push you into a pre-contemplating stage of thinking about what YOU need to do to change this situation.
I'm wondering if somehow you would try to detach yourself from what's going on in your home. Completely not concern yourself with them . Can you leave the house for a full day. Do something for you , even if its going for a walk , a bookstore. I know I can get lost at a Barnes and Noble book store for a whole day. Just something you would like to do for yourself , just go get away and see how it is to not be consumed for at least 24 hours and Know how that might feel.
I like that you keep coming back to the board to get your feelings out...Keep coming back.
