The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It happened. And funny how even with the alchohlic "out" of my life. I am impacted.
His counselor called me to get some information about how the week was going. I told him "I don't know I asked him to move out last week", which the counselor had no idea. Hence why I'm still listed as "significant other" He proceeded to tell me about the week and I filled him in on some of the pieces. Heartbreaking. Yet affirming knowing that this is SO MUCH BIGGER than I had realized and by me taking the step I needed for me, I can be removed from the chaos just a little bit more.
Tomorrow I am getting the key back and he's taking the rest of his stuff. He's staying with the other woman and he's in active addiction. I told him flat out: we will not have communication until you are in sober housing (and maybe not even then but for sure not until then) Tomorrow we will take our dog on one more family walk together. There is so much love between us, such a strong bond of friendship-it's so hard to "let go" but I know that strong boundaries are the only way for me to restore some sanity because all the weak ones that have happened in the past have lead me to where I am today. He knows that his actions to maintain a relationship with the other woman and alcohol mean that his "family" is no longer accessible to him. One foot in on door as he has his other foot so active in the other door, isn't healthy for any of us. And to be honest, he hasn't seen the true cost of this disease because no one has let him
My heart is heavy but I have a small sense of peace in my heart that I made some good choices for myself at this time, as hard as they may be.
(((Hugs))) Crau - it's not easy to do self-care but as your head is telling you, it's the best for now. Getting the heart aligned with the head will take some time but the two will align with this program. You are right that it's tough stuff - my journey has shown me that it has been worth it to get to peace of mind and mental independence vs. co-dependence.
I fully understand your heavy heart. Please be gentle with you and know that we're here.
Keep coming back!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
