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I dont know if this is good or not but AH,s sister has taken over care of him and his financial picture etc. It sounds good but is awkward for me as we[sis in law] were never close at all from her choice. Now she is calling me with all kinds of questions and ideas for handling things. Im angry because where was she the past 5 years when things were spirally downward often dangerously?
Im signing over the house to him and she wants her hubby to do the paperwork[ i might shock my fellow board members] but i literally hate her cheating smarmy hubby.I have my bro in law[my sister,s husband doing the house thing. Then she found out that i was going to serve my hubby with divorce papers in the treatment place. She made a hullabaloo and now they wont allow the sheriff to do it and i have to let her recieve and serve the papers. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Am I trying to hold onto control even in ending this marriage?? AH is in the beginnings of alcholic dementia and his sister has made herself in charge of him. Should I vbe happy she is doing it?
By the way, im very happy with my new home and my awesome boyfriend who has no addictive behavior except hoarding[oops] lol Boyfriend is working on his hoarding and I have told him that i dont want to fix him or control him ala alanon
Alyce - let her control what she wants to with regards to his '1/2' of the split. You do not have to give up that which you control - your side of the split. If you have things in progress for your self-care (paperwork, financial split, etc.), consider her his representative. I guess if it were me, I would not restart or change things in progress - but her involvement could certainly bring about closure faster if he's incapacitated. As I always try to do, find where this is positive vs. holding onto what she was or was not...
You are moving forward, and he's stuck in a ditch. Do what you can to continue moving forward and let go of his part.
(((Hugs))) - you got this!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
