The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for today discusses that we learn in Al-Anon that we do not have to accept unacceptable behavior! We don't have to tolerate violence or abuse and we have choices that perhaps were not readily recognizable before recovery. We can set limits that offer us guidelines without trying to control others. These guidelines help us see what is acceptable and what is not.
The writer suggests that after a period of time in recovery, he/she realized that while many things had improved greatly, he/she recognized there was still one person that was allowed to practice unacceptable behavior. That person was 'self' - the writing had continued to berate and blame self when things went wrong. The writer suggests he/she never gave credit for his/her own efforts and continuously still told self negative things - lazy, stupid, homely, etc.
The writer has an epiphany - until we start treating ourselves like a valued friend, we would be standing in the way of recovery.
Today's reminder suggests we've been affected by a disease of attitudes. When we treat ourselves with love and approval, we know that we are recovering.
Today's quote, "Let one therefore keep the mind pure, for what a man things, that he becomes." ~~The Upunishads
I can relate to this reading - while working hard to recover, I have often times been my own worst enemy. I was willing to accept humanism from almost every other person I knew or encountered, yet continued to be really hard and judgmental towards my self. Through working the program, using the tools and a lovely sponsor, I learned how to put me first and love myself like I had never done before.
I no longer blame anyone when things go wrong - it's just a by-product of life or poor decisions. I try to learn from life experiences instead of find fault with myself and others. I find that loving myself truly opens me up to give/receive love to others.
Grateful for MIP and grateful for all of you!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Ah I so needed this reminder today. I've been ill for most of the last week, daughter too so the house is a mess, no-one has been attending to anything, dog barely walked etc, and basically all we have both done is sleep. And I have been berating myself hard because, well, all of the above...an now I am behind which feels ridiculous after a long stretch of not being able to walk, (I know, how ridiculous, honestly. Woe is me etc etc lol!!) But I haven't been feeling at all good about any of it and really quite angry and frustrated with myself for having such a sedentary time since, well, Christmas more or less.
So it helped to read this and remind myself to do that simple little thing I so often forget to do and ask myself, what would I say to a friend in the same situation? Would I berate them and encourage them to feel as guilty and bad as possible? No, I really wouldn't. I'd say "Oh well, be glad of the break you had to have and the chance to recharge and start to tackle life one right thing at a time!!
Remembering to treat myself like a valued friend...priceless Thanks IAH
-- Edited by missmeliss on Saturday 20th of February 2016 10:13:06 AM
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
great post missmeliss. I am my own worse enemy and now away from my ah, have no one to blame but me for not supporting myself emotionally. Praying that HP will help me realize what strides i have made and provide the strength and hope to keep it up.
