Hi everyone. Its been a while. First, I am SO sorry this is s long, but I haven't really talked to anyone that is going through this in a while and I guess I am just trying to gage where I am in the on going sinerio with my AH. For a long time, he has been averaging 1/2 a fith of Black Velvet a day, drinking it streight and chasing it with Pop. starts at about 4pm (on week days) and usually heads to bed around 7pm cause he's "tired" I have been putting up with family dinners (We are empty nesters, but have family occasions a few times a year) where he slurs the dinner prayers, goes to church drunk, (extremely embarrising) and every night I get the drunk Husband who is condencending, argumentitive and just mean spirited. Durring the day, he doesn't drink (M-F) so everyone else gets the sober version. Dr Jeckel, I call it, and I get Mr Hyde. He starts drinking around noon on the weekends. Well, we got in a BIG argument about EVERYTHING in our lives on Friday last, and he was bringing up things from 16 years ago. (they are very good at that) He was also drunk at the time. He complained that I don't find him sexy, so i finally blurted out "How can I find someone sexy who is sluring their words, stumbling around and mean, sexy???" Then he made some excuse that he was trying to find ways to get help so that work wouldn't know, and called himself a drunk. The next day we were taking a class on overeating at church, and treating your body as the Temple that God gave you. Its a 5 week course. That day is that what the instructor called the tough day. When we were talking about WHY we over eat (that's my addiction, but I have been on weight watchers and have lost 25 pounds so far!) but you could apply the info to any addiction. He broke down in tears at the break, and left the room for a min. I asked him if he wanted to leave, but he said no. I thought after the argument and the class he would back off a bit, but it has gotten worse in the passed week. (to digress a little he has had a few health scares, and would "quit" for a few days, but always back to drinking ) I have gotten to the point of not believeing him at all now. The last "big scare" I believed him about 90%, but I wouldn't let myself all the way believe him. And I was right. (the 10%) Anyway, he had surgery Monday on his back to remove a fatty tumor and a cyst. And they put him all the way out. Don't you know he drank that night. Probably not a lot, but I found 1/2 gal of "housewife" vodka in the top drawer of his desk. The next day he stayed home from work, and was asleep by the time I got home from work and the gym at 5pm,and the 1/2 gal of vodka was gone, but it had a friend with it, a 5th of Black velvet, "hidden" in the drawer. The next morning, I told him he should stay home another day, and I left early for work so I could stop by the grocery and get some fruit for lunch, and some bandages for him. When I got back into the car, I looked up and saw HIM going into the store! I honked, and he came up to me acting all nice, and I could tell he was surprised to see me there. I asked why he was there (at 6:30am) and he said he was getting stuff to make speghetti. I said Ok, and left, and for a little second I thought that maybe he was going to get the housewife booze cause you can buy it any time, but half way dismissed that. Well, I was right. I got home, and there was TWO more 1/2 gallans of Vodka, and another 5th of Black velvet! And he went to bed vary early saying that his stomach hurt. Never ate dinner. So last night was church night and AH stayed home from Home church last night cause "he was so tired". So when I came home (and saw that he had drank another 1/2 gal of Vodka) and I went up to bed, the bed was shoved way over on my side! I was like, OK, this must be his passive aggressive way of saying he doesn't think he has enough room on his side. And I will have to re arrange all my stuff on MY side tomorrow! Well, when he got up, He had this big scratch across his back, and I was like "What happened to your back?" And he didn't know for a second, then said "OH! last night I came to be and slipped on the dogs  Blanket on the floor and fell into the bed!!" I was like "OH! That must be why the bed was moved about a foot my way" And he was all surprised by that. I told him I was hoping he wasn't trying to re arrange furniture with his back healing up! He is VERY luck he hit where he did! or bang his head on a dresser and knock himself out.He totally missed both incisions!  I know exactly what happened. He was so drunk, he was staggering to bed and slipped and fell! It's like the time he came in from the bar, drunker then s*** and fell on my really nice sturdy Iring board and broke it to where it was un fixable. That really pissed me off, cause it was vintage, and now I have a cheepo one. Then Before all that, I had noticed in the trash can there was this pink plastic bag that had held one of the 1/2 gal of Vodka in it the day before, so I looked beneath it, and didn't see any bottles, so I looked in the garage in the recycle bin, and they were all (the ones in the pics I attatched ) in there with the grocery store flyers spread over them to "hide" them! I moved the flyers!  I guess I am just trying to see just how bad this is by comparison. Every time he goes to the doctor, he comes back with wonderful numbers! I don't get it! Again, sorry this is so long. Thanks for listening!