The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for February 5th, speaks about the principle in Tradition 11 whereby we are cautioned to remember that we "attract "people to alanon by practicing the principles and not by telling them what to do or by giving advise.
People get to alanon when they are ready and not before.
Quote is from the Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage: "Let me not dilute the effectiveness of the help I can give, by letting it take the form of giving advise . I know I will never have enough insight into another's life to tell that person what is best to do.
Powerful reminder. I love how I can offer an alanon tool that I found helpful and let it go
Thank you Betty for the reading and for your ESH.....I am one who still find fascination is the 'excellence' of the traditions and principles of this program. When I stop and consider when they were written and how spot on they are, I always conclude that a higher power must have been the driving force behind the words - just has to be, as how did 'they' know back then to cover all basis to help us be whole by using consistent tools, steps and experiences?
I had an experience this week in my F2F meeting by which I mentioned what a lovely funeral service we had for my Aunt. A long time member pulled me aside after the meeting and was giving me a dissertation on the Catholic faith (it was a Catholic funeral) and the belief about suffering, death, etc. I truly do not know what she was saying, as I was uncomfortable with her words from the very start. She did also suggest she had been raised another faith and was not Catholic.
I am most certain her intent was to help my sadness and my grief. However, as I left to drive home, my first thought was, "I am grateful that I've been around for a while - if I were a newcomer, I'd be running for the hills...." It is these very examples for me that remind me that my passion and 'helpfulness' can be received way, way different than I plan!
When I arrived, all I wanted was help with fixing my boys. I was resistant to fixing me as they were my priority at the time. I was one who thought if I could just get them redirected towards the 'right path' all would be better. It took some lovely people sharing the steps, tools, slogans and self-care over and over and over again for me to realize I was my own problem - not them.
I am so grateful my F2F group is mature enough to not offer advice, but tends to stick very close to the traditions, principles and steps. I am grateful for Al-Anon and all that it includes that keeps me focused on my recovery and gives me the tools to recenter when I am left or right of it.
(((Hugs))) - thanks for your service and all your support this week!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene