The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You always can leave...let go...lots of choices. Additionally, I get where you are coming from but everyone dies and most of us have unhealthy behaviors contributing.
If we could control it, someone would have found a way by now. So how do we keep on going as the A is destroying himself or herself, with all our grief and anger and pain? With the support of the fellowship, our fellow Al-Anoners and sponsor, maybe a good therapist, and the other supportive people we've gathered in our lives through working on our recovery and reaching out to healthy relationships. There is a lot of grief in this world, no matter what, and we all need as much support as we can get. We can also support ourselves by developing a wide range of things to engage with, so that no one grief is overwhelming. There are still things to savor - a cup of tea, a sprig of cherry blossoms, helping a kid learn to ride a bike, hearing from an old friend. We need to not write those off, because it's all part of the big picture.
It sounds like you're feeling a lot of pain right now. Those times are hard. Take very good care of yourself.
I do so understand I found I could pray, offer love and compassion to my son as he proceeded toward the end. It is not an easy road. I did also call 911 several times to no avail. Acceptance and life on life's terms are hard to come by
Pinkchip
That thought,
that "we are all going to die and most of us do something to contribute to the process"
really struck me....I mean, that is so true.
None of us is perfect. No one makes all the right choices.
Perhaps part of my "problem" is I'm doing a little too much (in my mind) "finger pointing" at my A.
Thanks for the reality check.
Mattie
Thanks for the reminder to keep my focus on my side of the street, to stay positive, and to enjoy all the little wonderful things in the world sround me like sunshine and the renewal of life every spring.
Thanks ignutah. I am glad you took it that way. I get angry and exasperated with active alcoholics and I do empathize because it's not just a bad choice like smoking or eating since it does make a person less present and active while they are living and it causes more disruption to their mental state. Nonetheless, it is still just a bad health habit on top of that. Not easy. That's why we have each other and alanon.
Mahalo Pink for the responses and conversation with ignutah. it is my belief that the greatest help I can give the addict and alcoholic is my ESH and unconditional love which includes all periods of time including end times. Learning in early recovery to sit with and hug and express love with an addict and/or alcoholic who was dying without feeling remorse or fear was one of the greatest 1st lessons I ever had. The local fellowship still practices it that way. (((hugs)))
