Great subject and I can listen to it from many many angles.  I have listened to the first nations peoples and other indigenous peoples including my own Hawaiian culture.  Additionally I was born and raised to the best of their ability; Roman Catholic.  That didn't stick because the behaviors of the teachers didn't match the characters of the lessons and I constantly was protecting my okole from harm from the teachers including trying to interpret the actual meaning from what was being said and what was being acted.  At the age of 11 because of the alcoholic behavior in my family and surrounding I ran from home into the mountains and jungle in Hawaii and found myself talking to and asking a power greater than myself to help me...what ever that meant and that prayer was answered...I started changing...not into perfection; into progress of spirit and behavior.  The answer to the prayer would come over time...a long time which would include finding and entering the program which I am in now and which I work daily.  I have had many spiritual awakenings which have been so far and away from my early lessons in the church including the lessons I also use to teach.  I learned to ask myself the question..."Could you be wrong"?  and found that I could and then I would ask others for direction and change myself.

HP is not just a concept to me today...HP is real, a loving entity and concerned creator father as often is described by the ancient indigenous peoples.  HPs name is love which is also HPs character and behavior and also what I attempt on a present basis to duplicate in my life.  It works when you work it.    Great subject and I'm gonna check back to read.   ((((hugs))))  

Hi KT, I, too, had struggles with the god/hp when I first found AlAnon, though coming from the other side of the spectrum. My background involved an unhealthy, overpowering religion and god concept that left me very angry and extremely avoidant of the mere mention of 'god' or thinking of it as anything other than blind, irrational weakness and vulnerability. Today, I am so grateful that AlAnon works for anyone, despite previous experiences or beliefs, requiring just willingness to try and an open mind.

I was able to work through my struggles by first focusing on AlAnon's large body of practical tools and behavioral insights I could put into practice that did not require invoking an HP. In the background, I built an awareness of the nature and characteristics of god/hp as AlAnon presents, taking care to note the differences to the god of my upbringing. This allowed me to increase my appreciation for the wisdom and value of AlAnon, while also coming to the realization that the hp AlAnon encouraged me to connect with was a different cat, something completely unfamiliar.

My unease with any god concept ruled out (in my mind) working through the 12 steps, and I stopped on step 3 while I addressed my feelings about 'god'. I decided to actively work to try to identify and shape an hp that could play the role in my life that AlAnon described, but also something that I truly believed in and could make a serious part of my life and an anchor for the serious changes I saw the need to make. If I did not succeed, I knew that my program would not be strong, and the results in my life (or lack thereof) would reflect that.

I came to realize that uniform labels like 'god' or 'hp' mask the uniqueness of the concept that is held within the minds of all who use the term. I have learned much from hearing how other members use/benefit from their hp/god, and have become much, much more tolerant and accepting of the terms and concepts of others that I once would have found intolerable.

Perhaps more importantly, this uniqueness means that not one of the 'god's or 'hp's that other members may mention references the particular god of my understanding, who I came to hate and associate with so much pain and anger. This realization lessoned my intolerance and paved the way for me to effectively explore and create an hp that worked for me, a perfect (for me) combination of science, psychology, world religion, and metaphysics.

Coming from a social and religious environment that forbade independence of thought and action, AlAnon's minimal framework and encouragement to personalize and customize our recovery is a life changing experience. I am so grateful to have the freedom to 'take what I like and leave the rest', with no judgement or pressure to stick to a predetermined schedule or accept a particular god concept; those would have been deal breakers. Instead, I was able to meditate and explore as I saw the need.

Upon completion of my first month in AlAnon, I had no desire to work the steps, and the thought of turning my life and will over to god made me sick to my stomach. From my first F2F meeting, however, I did find incredibly useful tools and perspectives that increased my opportunities for peace and serenity. Three years later, I have an hp that has become an indispensable part of my recovery and personal growth, and have completed my first time through the twelve steps.

Reading daily from the pages of AlAnon publications along with meditation made the greatest difference in my ability to make improvements in my thoughts, actions, and serenity by opening a path to awareness and enlightenment. These two things, used together, delivered insight into myself and others, the power and motivation to want to change and then the ability to make it happen. F2F meetings have been indispensable, and my patience to identify, create, and incorporate an hp into my recovery has been richly rewarded with a more powerful program and unexpected spiritual awareness.

It sounds like you are doing well, keep up the great work. Asking questions of self and others is the beginning of wisdom and awareness (said someone with more of both than I . Regular reading, meditating, and meetings brings insights and changes that can be startling when we pause and consider our starting point. One day at a time...

Missmeliss that is an excellent breakdown, thanks for sharing that! I've been struggling greatly with the idea of HP and have been trying to translate it to a subconscious force with myself. I'm atheist myself and enjoy meditation and energy work but mainly as it relates to maximizing my own life and function :)

Wow- I can't even express how helpful all the responses are.

Thank you Enigmatic for the breakdown of your experience and for sharing your experiences. Miss Melis I like how you asked me the question back. A higher power is something I have never really taken the time to consider in terms of something to define for myself. I have always prayed at night before I went to sleep. Although I wasn't sure who I was praying to my prayers were always for people I loved and cared about to be safe. That was always my main concern. I think that was mainly fear driven though and since I've started to rust a higher power of some sort I've stopped that and I've started expressing my gratitude in the form of prayer at night. It never occurred to me until I came to Al Anon that I could define my own higher power. I thought I would have to adopt one specific form of beliefs or nothing.

When I first started to think about it I really thought something similar to you Meliss about the higher self. I feel that the truth, the good, the right decision is always inside me, I just have to take the time to listen and tap into it. Like you said the answers come when you aren't trying to figure them out so hard. I have really found Al Anon empowering in that piece that says "take what you like and leave the rest". I always felt that I had to take everyone's opinion of me or what I should do with my life seriously and then consider everything someone said about me or to me to death. It was exhausting and confusing. The idea that I do have the power to make the right decisions for myself has been an amazing realization.

I've always loved Buddhism and it's teachings. I am a strong believer in meditation and mindfulness. I know these things bring out the best me there is. I read a book once by Thich nhat Hanh and it really spoke to me (I should pick up that book again). This might sound funny but my daughter is currently very into star wars. And one day I was having a rough day and behaving in a very grumpy manner. Just short and abrupt and not my best self. My daughter asked me what was wrong and I said I was angry about something (something so trivial I can't even remember what it was now). She said "mommy you are letting your anger control you" (she learned this from Star wars) and she was completely right. My 6 year old could see that I was not my best self. I was reacting to my emotions instead of trying to do better. I thought that was very insightful. So I guess I believe in something like "the force" although not exactly. I believe there is this energy that connects us all as humans. This unspoken common language that we can all tap into. I believe it can be extremely good and can also at times be bad. I think it's a language of kindness and caring, of compassion and understanding. I believe that the majority of people at their core are good and are doing the best they can with what they've got. And to me when people are doing their best that is a higher power (I can't express it with words but I know it when I see it). I am unsure if there is actually a God that I believe in or not. If there is he embodies all the things I described.

Thank you Meliss for asking the question and pushing me further along in my journey! Thanks to everyone who contributed to it. I can see how differently people can define it. I'm going to spend more time fleshing this out.

Hi KT,
I was raised quite a strict Protestant and then married Irish Catholic.... wow what a change. My HP in the beginning was Mother Nature who I believe is a part of HP. I also looked at electricity as being way more powerful than me. Eventually I got back to a loving God that takes care of us all and loves us more than we can comprehend.

Just keep on thinking about it and let it unfold in your mind. Don't be in a hurry.